All boxed up and ready to go.

1st day of packers. Living room done, store done, kid's bedroom done. Tomorrow, they'll come and finish up the kitchen, and Master room.

And thus ends another chapter of our lives.
This is 5th time we've had packers - first being 2003 when we moved from Makassar to Singapore. We moved from SinMing to Shunfu in 2004 (minor move), to Vietnam in 2008, to Jakarta in 2011, and now to Sydney.

There is a sense of cleansing, as I pack and throw away stuff. Stuff that seemed important 5 years ago, not having touched it once, and quite unlikely I was going to touch it ever again. The passage of time gives a sense of clarity as to what is important, what is valuable. Each move, forces us to re-evaluate our priorities, our belongings, it either gets cast aside or grows in its importance, our sense of attachment.

I brought maybe 4 suits over from Vietnam and got rid of 3, just keeping the suit which I got married in, which surprisingly still fits! From maybe 50 ties, I kept maybe 12, which I think is 12 too many. There could be some remote possibility that I'd need to wear a tie now and then, so no harm keeping a few. And I already imagine my driver with his ill fitting Zegna suit and Armani ties...

I feel a wanton glee as I get rid of stuff, masochistic? maybe. As I grow older, I find that I'd like to live a simple life. Material things don't mean as much any more, branded things lose their sense of worth.

Sure there are things I still keep, that are beyond plain functional - the cards my family gave, old photos, things that can never be replaced by money or time. I love my Tibetan Chests with the chewed leg courtesy of Moppy, our dog in Vietnam, or the glass cabinet we found in in someone's kitchen in Makassar. Each piece is a memory from a chapter of our lives.

When my kids came back from school today, their rooms are bare, living room stacked with boxes. I ask my son if he is sad, and he says.. yes, but I don't want to talk about it. My daughter says... no, why should I? Miss Contrarian... :)
I think about my son's response - it saddens me. Whilst I am quite ready to leave, and look forward to the next chapter of my life, I feel a little sad that my kids have to bear the consequence of our decisions - for better or worse.

Oh yes, it can be for worse. As our experience last year.
How will it be for our younger 2 as we move. It is hard for them to leave their friends. They have settled well here, made good friends, and that will be difficult. Will we turn around in a year and regret our move?

My only hope is that they find a place where they can grow and thrive as Christians, above all else. Deep down, I pray and hope that they find a thriving youth group, where they encourage each other to grow in their love of God. I am not outsourcing their Christian learning to others, but I do realize that as they get older, the role of the parent becomes less.... influential. I want us as a family to love God, each individual wanting to know God more, serve God - and not do it just because mum and dad say so.

Life is full of choices, decisions are full of risks. We hope to do what is best, based on our flawed human understanding, marred with sin, ego and foolishness.
Thankfully, God continues to be Sovereign - thank God! He uses us, despite our sinfulness, our pride and foolishness, and uses the circumstances we find ourselves in, for his purposes. We don't always see how things work out, how they unfold. We continue to be works in progress.

I pray that our move works out. I pray for my kids, to adapt, to grow in their love of Jesus. I pray that we will continue to serve God where we are.

Life is an adventure. And as we finish up here in Jakarta, as we end this chapter, let's see how the next chapter unfolds. It'll be scary, exciting, there'll be moments of joy, moments of heartache.

Watch out Sydney, here we come.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare^[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 

Wishlist for All Saints

I had a nice lunch with the folks I work with @ All Saints Anglican church - where I have been Treasurer for the last 4 years. I am very thankful for their partnership in the gospel, the opportunity for me to serve alongside - and their love for God's people in Indonesia.

During lunch John S asked me an interesting question - what would my wishlist be for All Saints. So I gave it some thought, shared it. So, if I were to come back in 10 years (say), I would love to see

1.Breaking down of walls within
Through the years, I see some "walls" being built up. It was good to see the wall between Menteng and South Jakarta broken down.
I would like to see Outreach ministry and All Saints be much more integrated. I kinda kick started the process just, but I hope to see that we are one, one church, one body of Christ, doing what God wants to do in Indonesia.

2.Breaking down of walls without
I still think there is a lot of distrust/wall with GAI and Diocese of Singapore - both of which we need, and are in a legal way - the parent church/entity - although we are pretty much self sustaining.
All Saints needs to keep think outside of All Saints, the gospel work outside of the church.
GAI as a denomination isn't at all thriving, short of pastors and funding - and I think we have a big role to play in building the whole denomination, taking in pastoral interns, encouraging GAI pastors, supporting them however we can.

There's also a lot of distrust with the Diocese of Singapore. They move slowly, very very slowly. They don't seem to trust us, and most people in All Saints think we don't need them - except for Constitution changes, otherwise, they are a thorn in the side, of no help, only hindrance.

Well, I would like the Diocese to be much more responsive - treat All Saints as one of their congregations as we are. It needs to be a 2 way street. Our communication isn't as good as it can be.
I would like for All Saints to work with GAI and Diocese - use the network All Saints have (rather than just reinvent the wheel) - and together build up the Anglican church in Indonesia, and see the gospel grow.

If GAI fails, we will suffer.
If there is poor communication with Diocese, we will suffer.
And God's work will suffer.

3.Be all things to all men
I would like to All Saints to have a new service that is less liturgical, bit more lively, less formal - but still good bible teaching. Just as there is a place for liturgy - some people are more comfortable with it - there is also many people who wish to have less liturgy (like me!), and attract that group of people raised on Hillsongs - but will solid bible teaching.

With the change of demographics, I would like to see All Saints grow also Indonesian service it has. We are no longer just an "expat" church. We are part of the gospel here in Indonesia, and I would like to see us bring more Indonesians in, have full time Indonesian ministers.

4.Vibrant Youthwork
I think what is lacking is a vibrant youth ministry. As many know, my kids have decided to go IES for church instead of All Saints. It's a pretty sad state, there aren't many kids.
A good solid youth ministry is key to grow of the church. You would attract families. People will come and hear the gospel.

5.Good use of Menteng
This is new (I didn't mention this yesterday).
The land we have in Menteng is a tremendous resource, and a valuable one.
It has in the past been a thorn in the side - and I would like to see the placed used for more than just All Saints meeting.

Past leaders had vision to redevelop the land. I see a new building, used by GAI and other Christian organizations, maybe a place for Langham to conduct its training; a place to equip the saints, a place to to be used for God's glory. And if it becomes such a burden, a source of contention, an idol - then maybe sell it for better use. The church cannot be about a piece of land, or a building, but the people of God. Let's not lose our focus on that. I pray.

ok, 5 things on my wishlist.
All in God's good hands, and in the hands of his people.

Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:14-16 The Message.

Eat Fat. Lose Weight.

In the beginning....
So... we holidayed with our friends Wing and Jackie July2015. And in the morning, we woke up to sounds of a breakfast being cooked - and they asked if we'd like them to add more stuff for us! Bacon, eggs, avocado - all prepared for us, no effort - so hey, sure!

This was followed by lunch, and eventually, the most of the meals on our trip! Everything was rich, full of bacon, fat, cream. And they were doing this because of health reason! Get more bacon, get healthy - I could live with that. So.... I decided to give it a go. 

Oh, I should say that it is a Low Carb High Fat diet (or rather way of eating). Basically no added carbs (rice, noodles, bread, sugars, glucose), more fat content (butter, avocado, bacon... hmmm... bacon!) Lots of info found here http://www.dietdoctor.com/

So July2015, I was like 83-84kg. Unfit, bit flabby.
I had tried reducing rice, which brought my weight down quickly to 78kg in a month or 2, but slowly crept back up to 84.

Results - after a month of this change in eating patterns - nothing changed. Hmmm...
Well, month 2-4 was interesting. I started losing weight... hitting about 75 kg (9kg in 3 months). Then it kinda tapered off, although slowly inching down. I hit 72 kg a few weeks ago!
My wife wasn't too impressed with the weight loss though, too much she said, my cousin thought I was anorexic, and others who hadn't seen me in a while, thought I'd recovered from an illness. So I did the occasional Carbs, esp when my older son was back - he loved pizza, and noodles from Kenanga - which I also love. When I indulged in carbs, immediately I put on 1 kg the next day. then it comes off in a day or 2. And my older son who used to make fun of how flabby I was - exclaimed that I was much too bony now! Exaggeration runs high in the family....

What I found hardest on this diet was - not eating fruits. I love fruits, often just eating a tray of papaya for dinner, or 1 kg of dragonfruit or mangoes! Giving up fruit was the hardest. But I got over it very quickly, got used to not eating fruit. Although I ended up constipated for a number of months - which was not pleasant.

And why I like this diet (its important, because a diet only works if t is sustainable).
1.Eat when you are hungry; stop when you are full - I hate it when people say eat till 80% full, the u are left hungry all the time!
2.Bacon and fat. Food high in fat - tastes yummy. BACON!
3.Nothing wrong in skipping meals. I don't eat breakfast - so this diet is good.
4.Coffee is good. Without sugar and milk, which is how I take it.
5.Whilst exercise is good for you - it isn't integral to the diet.
6.I don't  get that sleepy after meals effect.
7.Quick (good) results - are encouraging.
8.Just less flabby/sluggish in general

Medical Tests
I also just did a cholesterol test - I have been on statins for the last 20 years or so, with a history of high cholesterol that is largely genetic. Eating more fat, would of course mean higher saturated fat in the body. But the fact is, despite me being lazy, and only eating my meds once in 2-3 days, or whenever I remember, the total and bad cholesterol was marginally high (not any higher than before), and the specialist did say that I could stop my meds, although I'd need to keep monitoring.

Last words
Anyway, if you are interested, go check out the link above. I won't go into details about why fats are good, what type of fats, and why carbs/sugars are bad.

And this isn't for everyone - obviously. But it worked for me, sustainable - and I feel much better. I don't feel unhealthy at all.

Eat more bacon, it's good for u. :)

Reflections from an Interview.

So.... I went for an interview.

Which isn't new, or news. I enjoy talking with people, potential employers - to see what is out there, to see if I could picture myself at their place, to see what other companies are doing etc.

But this was the first time an ex-company wanted to interview me - which was so strange that it terrified me. We had parted ways, and I was sure we were both happier after. That they considered interviewing me, confused me, terrified me, that I froze. I had to go talk with my brother, and that was really good in just clarifying my fears/thoughts. So I agreed to chat with some of my old bosses, I had nothing to lose?

It ended.... abruptly, although not badly. And no, I am quite sure this is where it ends.

I am not sure why, but I had a lot to think about this.

On reflection, they would have concluded my current job size is too small.
Working for my current employer, is different from any corporate. When they realized that the market cap of my company was so small, and that it was basically a privately owned company, they made their mind up, and ended the call. I was really surprised, as they didn't talk about what the job entails at all.

I made a "mistake" of overhearing their discussion, and I heard how "unprofessional" I was, in referring to my ultimate boss as "Matriarch". I was stunned. and I quickly switched off my phone.
I also recall a question why I would work for a Indonesian family-run conglomerate.

More reflection on my own career, I know
a) This is where God has put me.
He has always closed and opened the right doors, and always only 1 door - so far. He has made it clear when it was time to leave. So I'm here, not because of any career planning on my part. It's my own journey, and trusting in God in his provision - but clearly, God opened this door, and only this door. I have nothing to apologize for - thank YOU very much.

b) I am, who I am.
No, I am not Yahweh - but I will not exaggerate what I do, or lie.
Perhaps I need to think of ways to explain it better to people who don't understand the Indonesian context, to phrase things better. In the "interview" I was chatting as I would talk. It was not an interview per se - as it was more out of curiosity, than me desperate for a job. But I will always be myself, they need to know this is who I am - better than me acting, then finding out that there's a wrong fit later.

c) Career path
At the beginning, I felt "looked-down" on. And they aren't wrong.
I am not on a career path to bigger and better titles. My responsibilities has changed, I've had to adapt, and learn new things, new ways of relating to people. But from a secular/career point of view, I have not "progressed" - and this has nothing to do with salary.

But as I reflect, right from my first job interview, I've always said that 2 most important things in my life is my relationship with God, and with my family. And hopefully, it won't change.
A job is the right job - when it allows me time to do ministry and time with the family. Of course having a stable good pay is a bonus! But titles, pay, responsibilities aren't so important?

And I am thankful it ended that way, not that I am happy.
I am thankful that God made it clear to me - it isn't the right path for me. The culture, expectations won't fit.  I am thankful God answered my prayer, which I prayed lots for wisdom - and as hard as it is for my ego and pride, it is the right answer.

And with my current situation, I hardly do any traveling, employers are really good to me, I enjoy working with the people, I have dinner with my family almost every night and have lots of time with them, I've hardly had to work OT or weekends, I have time for ministry.


What more can I ask for? - see next post :)


Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes;
    fear the Lord and shun evil.

Proverbs  3:5-7

Who's your Soul Mate?

2 nights ago, my daughter declared that I was her soul mate!

To which my younger son immediately responds - EWWWW!
DY then says, soul mate doesn't have to be your husband or wife what....
I think my older son believes that there is a soul mate just for him.

Despite me holding my wife to be my soul mate, she shows me an article - the next morning - from HuffPost about a wife writing that husband isn't her soul mate. Wonder what she was implying..... no wait... she wasn't implying...



Did a rare thing today, whilst killing time trying to get from Tamworth to Jakarta, taking me about 21 hours..... and I did some thinking!
It occurred to me that "soul mates" mean quite different things to different people. Here's a few:

 1.Fated Soul Mate
In your life, there is meant to be just 1 person - that is perfect for you, and meant for you - to spend the rest of your life with.

This is most probably the result of watching too many Hollywood movies/series, that the world's values have greatly influenced how we think.
Firstly, fate is quite different to God's sovereignty. Ok, God knows who I was going to marry, but I doubt that the person you marry is just that perfect partner for me, or you. God's will doesn't revolve around arranging marriages for perfect partners.

So the problem is that we are all sinful. Perfection died at the Garden of Eden. Hope restored at the cross, but true perfection occurs only when Jesus returns again.

So the person you marry, it can be an arranged marriage, I think getting to choose who you marry is pretty neat, but I do see too many "chosen" marriages ending. Liking and getting along with the person you marry is a big bonus.

I think that if you spend your life looking for that "special" one, you will be sorely disappointed, you will be disillusioned. You may even end up missing out on "spouse" material, always waiting for "something better" to come along.

I've mentioned to my kids how there are really only 4 main criteria (loosely speaking) in the bible for a spouse: 1) Not related; 2) Not of the same sex; 3) Not already married; 4) preferably a Christian. There's nothing about compatibility, personality matches, social strata equality, class, race or even ability to earn money! Maybe God missed out a few things? Nah.

Good reason to get married is that it helps you in your godliness. If you can stay single - good! If you find someone to get married - good! Both have pros and cons. Both are incomplete, a stop gap in this life, until the time Jesus comes again, then the real stuff happens!

As much as I love my wife, I do not think "FATE" brought us together. She is my "soul mate" not because she is perfect for me. And me liking her and getting along with her - isn't the reason why I think she is my "soul mate". (more on this later).

2. Companionship Soul Mate

Perhaps my daughter was referring to this. We get along, we make fun of each other, and enjoy each other's company. This could be friendship between best friends. They could be "soul mates", but not in a sexual way. They are just best of friends, through thick and thin.

Like "How I met your mother" or "Friends" group of friends.
A little bit idealistic. People grow up, childhood friends go in different direction, get married, have kids, move to different countries.

I think you are "lucky" if you can cling on to a close group of friends, with friendships that stand the test of time. But hardly what I consider as Soul Mates. Just weird....


3.My definition of Soul Mate

Well, back to me. I think of my wife as my soul mate - in that I want to spend the rest of my days with her. I lover her company, we parent better together. Sure there are times where we disagree, and things we still don't like about each other (despite being married for.... 19 years?!!!).

Whilst I don't think we were "fated" to be together, we chose to get married. And we chose to Love.
That is quite different to "being in love" that fluttery feeling of infatuation. The love we chose, was demonstrated on the cross by God. God chose to love us, when we were unlovable, his enemies. We choose to love someone, regardless of how we feel at each moment. We love despite the other person - you know, for better or worse, for richer or poorer. Vows we are familiar with, but seldom see in practice.

The World loves when the going is good. And bails when it going is bad. But that is not how God loves, and we as his Children, we learn from him. I choose to love my kids, when they are at their cutest, and even when they drive me up the wall.

My "soul mate" is not someone set out for me from the beginning, but someone whom I choose to love, choose to be my "soul mate". And keep loving/choosing. Even when the days are rough. It is by the will of the 2 people, and the grace of God, that they can become "my definition of Soul Mates".

Does that make sense?

4.The REAL Soul Mate
Remember that HuffPost article my wife showed me? Despite my initial disappointment (that she didn't think I was her Soul Mate), after I reached the end of the article, I agreed with her.

Basically, it says your spouse is a great companion, but cannot make you whole or complete you. That is God. We were created to to have God as God of our lives, the center of our lives. God completes us, his Spirit renews us, His Son saves us. Read the article in the link, it's good. But it makes sense.

If we make our spouse the "god" of our lives, then we have a new idol, or a different idol in our lives. If it isn't your spouse, it could be your family, your hobby, your work. Nothing can complete you, only God as your God can "complete" you.

I have a friend on facebook, who pines for a soul mate with every other post. Pines for the love lost, how life is incomplete unless you have someone who loves you.

Good news! We all do!
Yes, God loves each and everyone of us. He loves us, even when we are sinners, when we reject Him. He loves us when we are his enemies. Despite all the rubbish we throw at him, all the stuff we get ourselves into, He loves us so much that he sent his own son to die for you, for me.  True love. Not the fluffy fleeting Hollywood love - the REAL stuff!

The challenge for me then is - does God really complete me? Do I really want to spend as much time as possible with Him? Do I pine for Him, remember his love for me?

Knowing it in theory, is one thing. Knowing it in your heart- is another.

.

Bank Calls

Like in most countries, I get these calls from banks trying to sell me something.

In Singapore, when I was (rarely) in the mood, I would entertain the caller.
I do remember one particular call, about 10 years back, the CSO proposed to me!
She offered me a small gift if I signed up, but I said that for me to sign up, it'll need be a bigger gift.... and she asked like what.. I said... how about a flat screen TV? 
Then she said that she'll have to marry me if she gave a TV?!!!!
And it was me who was then speechless....

Well, here in Indonesia, it almost always goes like this (with me)

CSO: (Bahasa) Are you [Name]? I am calling from [Bank]
Me: (Intentionally in English) Yes, how can I help you or sometimes, Yes, how can you help me?
CSO: (Broken English) Oh... Can you speak Indonesia (sp)?
Me: Can you speak in English?
CSO: No...
Me: Ok, thank you - bye. (hang up)



Yesterday, was a bit different.
After the usual verification, and my usual reply

CSO: (fumbles mike and passes to another person)
CSO2: Hello
Me:So what do you want?
CSO2: (quickly passes to another person)
CSO3: Hello...
Me: So, what do you want?
CSO3: (Confidently in English) Oh, I don't want anything...
Me: Ok good. Bye. 

They didn't call back.

A slice of Heaven?

I love my bible study group.
Last night was rare, to have all men - our study on 2 Corinthians 13:12 on giving each other "Holy Kiss" didn't go so well....

As we were sharing prayer points with each other, it occurred to me that just in our midst, us 9 guys were folks from 7 different countries! England; US; Japan, Holland; Iraq; Indonesia (of course)... and even Singapore!

Over the many Sundays, I've met people from Iran; Australians; Nigerians; Afghanistan; South Americans; Canadians; Scottish; Irish; Chinese; Malaysian; Bulgarians; even a Russian of Korean decent.

There are many things which I think could be better at church, but that diversity is something which I've never quite experienced before.

And it seems that right there (back to my bible study) - it is perhaps a picture of what Heaven will be like. And it'll be pretty neat.


After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!”
Revelation 7:9-10 (ESV)