During my national service days, I made a mistake of telling my section commander - that I don't mind anyone as my "buddy" - except this guy whom I knew from before, and couldn't stand him.
Next thing I knew, they paired me up with this guy.
We were happy with just 2 children, we weren't supposed to be able to have any more kids; then God decided to throw a spanner called a 3rd child in.
After reeling from facing a pregnancy, we pleaded for a girl, then God said, why not see if it's a boy.
I told myself, whilst living in Makassar, that I will never live in a big city, and especially one like Jakarta.
I also told myself later, whilst looking for a job, anywhere is fine, except Singapore and Indonesia (been there, done that.) And lo and behold, the only option open to me was Jakarta in July 2011.
Work wise, I told myself I'd never do a certain finance role, after trying it for 2 years and hating it - 15 years ago. Well, winds of change blows again, and now I find myself having to head that same function, and building up a team. Good grief!
So the rubber hits the road.
I tell people that God is in control. Everything happens according to his Will. There are no u-turns, plans gone wrong - and just because things don't go our way, or when we don't understand it - do we then waver in our faith in God? do we question and shake our fists at Him at why certain things happen?
As I reflect back, having a 3rd child who was a boy, was the perfect fit for our family. And what a blessing he has been (as is my other 2 kids).
Some things, I can't work out why it happened - like the army buddy.
And other things - the verdict is still open - like our move to Jakarta.
No, I'm not happy. It could be worse, but for a while, it was almost perfect, then the carpet's been swept under my feet.
But God is in control, whether it is according to how we like it to be or not.
His will does not revolve around me. The world doesn't revolve around me - even though I'd rather it be.
The first thing I learned when I became a Christian is, we revolve around God's will; not the other way around. And so, the same lesson hits hard now.
So do I blame God? or do I out of lack of choice trust in His wisdom and His Will.
Is that faith? I dunno, but I guess is God is in charge, I'll roll along with it - regardless of whether I like it now or not.
Just a warning (to self) - never say never. God has a sense of humor, and he may just throw you a curve ball for the hack of it. Maybe even to build up faith.
Sigh.
