The Valve Release

After my last blog post, 1-2 hours later, A texted me, asking how I was, and even how my marriage!
I shared that I wasn't doing that well, and he offered to catch up and chat - which I really appreciated.

We met up Wednesday night for dinner, and it was really good to catch up, to talk, share.
I realize that suffering alone, is like a pressure cooker building up, I just spiral downwards inside/mentally. Just being able to talk, is like a release.
Interestingly, I asked him what prompted him to text me (I thought the blog post was the prompt), but he just did, kinda felt prompted to? So it is definitely a God-incidence. Praise God!

I'm amazed at God's timing, and how He chooses to act. It doesn't solve the underlying problem, but it was such a great help - so thank you A, and thank you God.

At work, SST did a catch up, and asked about me (as a follow-up with what I shared back in Feb). And I trust these guys quite a lot (first time having such a deep relationship with colleagues), and I shared what I said in the first para of the blog, just as an indication that I wasn't doing well.

I did share with my boss my blog, coz he asked after my "revelation". He was quite surprised, that it was much worse than he thought. I hide my pain well.

I decided to take the next day off, caught up with a friend. But I also decided to let W in, as we were chatting. He went and read the blog post. I took Monday off, and we caught up for lunch.
It was again good to talk through, just to digest what's happening - whether I'm just imagining it and making it worse than what it is... 
The weird thing is that even though physically he is deteriorating, he feels free to live now that he is ready to die. Wow. And he was quite happy for me to share with him, and that it wouldn't "burden" him more than what he is going through.

Finally coming back to the office, I did have lunch with my boss, and had a heart to heart chat.

It really has been quite helpful actually, to be able to process my own thoughts, with brothers-in-Christ. I don't feel so alone, and am thankful for others to be able to journey with me. 

Pray for wisdom, as I feel a bit more ready to address the underlying issue. It still terrifies me (that it won't be resolved, or I won't know how to resolve it). Only Christ can really help, so pray for his Spirit to be working in hearts.

The spiritual battle continues.