I am not a happy camper

At our men's fellowship, we were looking at Galations 3, and I mentioned that it is sometimes easy to forget that we need grace to finish the race, not just get us to the starting point; and added that regardless, we still needed to work out our Salvation (from Php 2:12) in the mean time - not to gain salvation, but after we get salvation, and cannot be "cruising" thereafter.

It was then that a full time Christian brother serving in same ministry "disagreed strongly" with me, saying that we only need grace, there is no effort on our part - it is all through Christ.
Now, I know where he is coming from, and it isn't wrong. Christ saves us, and through the Holy Spirit enables us to finish the race, enables us to put to death our earthly desires (Col 3), that we aren't bound by work of Law.

I felt derided & angry.

The choice of words may have not been 100% theologically correct, but hardly said deserving such a strong response.
In my nearly 20 years of growing as a Christian, I have been very fortunate to never experience an "attack" or "correction/rebuke", regardless of the theological blunders I have said/done.
It felt like an outright attack by a fellow brother, who is in ministry with me, cut deep.

And yet, I shouldn't be surprised.
Satan is all but pleased when unity of the body of Christ is being pulled apart.
All the better when pride is at stake.

Yes, it's pride, which is an obstacle to love.
Because my pride is hurt, I don't feel like loving this brother.

I wonder if Jesus felt the same.
I wonder what he felt, as he washed the feet of Judas - who was going to betray him; the feet of Peter - who was going to deny him 3 times; the feet of the other disciples - who were going to flee at his arrest & subsequent crucifixion.

And yet he loved them, as he does to me.
That's where the rubber hits the road - I feel angry; but Christ's love compels me to love.
Love isn't a feeling, but a decision, a choice you make.
I don't think Jesus enjoyed the process to the cross, but he decided to love, and so did it.

I pray that I will put aside my own pride; ask the Holy Spirit to open my heart and freely love.

The Christian walk sure doesn't feel effortless.

Life after birth

Just something I wrote 5.5 years ago.

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It used to be all so simple.
There I was, all growing up quite comfortably in this nice warm surrounding. A bit claustrophobic, but more snug than anything. Everthing I needed, I had. Everything I wanated, I got. But I was told that there was more to life than just hanging around, taking the occassional swim. I didn't quite believe it, I waited and waited, and life was pretty much status quo, I continued to live my life my own way, and it made no difference. I mean, who have thought that there's such thing as life after birth?

So I made myself comfortable, becoming quite attached to my nice umbilical cord. It was my everything, my food, my air, my companion, my life possession, my life. I caressed it, fondled it and treasured it. Where would I be without it? Quite unimaginable.

Then it began on 2 Sept. My precious failed me, I panicked. I had gambled my life's hopes on it, and my dearest umbilical cord just gave up on me. It really started getting cramped, claustrophobic, and tight. My walls around me were caving in, my life was falling apart, my fears realized. My end had come.
It felt like an eterrnity, but next thing I knew, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. It was blinding. I thought I died, but I lived, I found myself alive instead. What do you know... who would have thought that there's life after birth.

It's 5.04pm. I was born Goh Chang Jernn to 2 proud parents (Soo Sing & Sha-Rin), and 2 other annoying kids (Chang Hann & Di Yann), all of 3.1 kg and 49 cm.

Funny thing is that I wonder how real my life will be this time. Next thing they tell me, there's life after death.