Which isn't new, or news. I enjoy talking with people, potential employers - to see what is out there, to see if I could picture myself at their place, to see what other companies are doing etc.
But this was the first time an ex-company wanted to interview me - which was so strange that it terrified me. We had parted ways, and I was sure we were both happier after. That they considered interviewing me, confused me, terrified me, that I froze. I had to go talk with my brother, and that was really good in just clarifying my fears/thoughts. So I agreed to chat with some of my old bosses, I had nothing to lose?
It ended.... abruptly, although not badly. And no, I am quite sure this is where it ends.
I am not sure why, but I had a lot to think about this.
On reflection, they would have concluded my current job size is too small.
Working for my current employer, is different from any corporate. When they realized that the market cap of my company was so small, and that it was basically a privately owned company, they made their mind up, and ended the call. I was really surprised, as they didn't talk about what the job entails at all.
I made a "mistake" of overhearing their discussion, and I heard how "unprofessional" I was, in referring to my ultimate boss as "Matriarch". I was stunned. and I quickly switched off my phone.
I also recall a question why I would work for a Indonesian family-run conglomerate.
More reflection on my own career, I know
a) This is where God has put me.
He has always closed and opened the right doors, and always only 1 door - so far. He has made it clear when it was time to leave. So I'm here, not because of any career planning on my part. It's my own journey, and trusting in God in his provision - but clearly, God opened this door, and only this door. I have nothing to apologize for - thank YOU very much.
b) I am, who I am.
No, I am not Yahweh - but I will not exaggerate what I do, or lie.
Perhaps I need to think of ways to explain it better to people who don't understand the Indonesian context, to phrase things better. In the "interview" I was chatting as I would talk. It was not an interview per se - as it was more out of curiosity, than me desperate for a job. But I will always be myself, they need to know this is who I am - better than me acting, then finding out that there's a wrong fit later.
c) Career path
At the beginning, I felt "looked-down" on. And they aren't wrong.
I am not on a career path to bigger and better titles. My responsibilities has changed, I've had to adapt, and learn new things, new ways of relating to people. But from a secular/career point of view, I have not "progressed" - and this has nothing to do with salary.
But as I reflect, right from my first job interview, I've always said that 2 most important things in my life is my relationship with God, and with my family. And hopefully, it won't change.
A job is the right job - when it allows me time to do ministry and time with the family. Of course having a stable good pay is a bonus! But titles, pay, responsibilities aren't so important?
And I am thankful it ended that way, not that I am happy.
I am thankful that God made it clear to me - it isn't the right path for me. The culture, expectations won't fit. I am thankful God answered my prayer, which I prayed lots for wisdom - and as hard as it is for my ego and pride, it is the right answer.
And with my current situation, I hardly do any traveling, employers are really good to me, I enjoy working with the people, I have dinner with my family almost every night and have lots of time with them, I've hardly had to work OT or weekends, I have time for ministry.
What more can I ask for? - see next post :)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil.
fear the Lord and shun evil.
Proverbs 3:5-7
