Teaching a child and molding his character to fear and know the Lord, is no easy stuff (ok... so it's hard for the rest of us too) - when do we punish, when do we reward, and the how is the tough part.
We struggled thru an episode this week - 3rd complain from the teacher since this year! And each time, the "crime" seem to get worse... that I was at a total lost... nothing seems to work... we've tried the scolding, canning, depriving of privileges, rewarding (bribing?), reading the bible and praying together... textbook stuff, almost every trick in the bag (ok, very small bag), and yet, it all seems to fall apart. feel like giving up. Strangely I didn't even feel like punishing the child or talking to him. Hmm, it was certainly tempting to just give up, be indifferent - why bother when nothing works anyway.
No, some serious reflection was required, bit of honesty with myself and God. Something was seriously wrong, and I needed to do something abt it (see, us guys just have to find a fix). No no, if I was any interested in being a godly parent, a good father and concerned abt raising the child up to know and fear the Lord (be wise), I suspect ignoring a child isn't the best of reactions.
Went yesterday for swimming brief by the club. Coach told me abt my son, that he responds better to positive encourage, and uses it to better use, than critisizing/discouraging... sigh... Yes, I am overly harsh. After each stunt, we react and get bit more strict, and the next stunt seems to get a little more rebellious, intentionally or unintentionally. I am quick to punish, slow to love. It's just so hard to love sometimes... is it possible that I'm a recalcitrant and hard to love too by God? Hmm, took Him more than 20 years, and He didn't give up... Love is not a feeling, but a choice. It'll be nice if there was some feelings of love as well...
Drats! we just did the parable of sower last week at bible study, and today's sermon in church... Why did the passage have to hit so close - can I love someone I don't like? So much easier to love the millions in deep darkest Africa, but what about your own child?Ok, had a good chat with the wifey - she's always good counsel - we need to change our approach - our son is NOT like us (why can't he be more like me?!!!). we need to learn who he is, accept it, and work with it.
We took sometime in the afternoon, for a good heart-to-heart talk. We talked abt what happened, the reasons for doing, and explained why it was not right; what he need to do to correct his actions, and more importantly (hopefully) addressed his deep seated fears/concerns.
Well, let's hope this works... I can only trust in the Lord for wisdom and strength.
Yes, our child is also our neighbour.
