Through the eyes of a sinner saved

Photograph Learnings - 1 Year on.

2012-01-27T17:14:00.000+07:00

I've started (more serious) photography for about a year now, reading up books, magazines, forum postings, and various photography blogs. With just a year under my belt, these is what I've learnt

1.Equipment.

At the beginning, it's about the equipment: Nikon or Canon (or even others... gasp?!) ; which lenses, zoom or prime, aperture sizes, etc.

Now: it's really how you use the equipment. Upgrade when you have maximized and outgrown its use.

a. Camera body: Nikon D90

Read the manual. It's not a TV, or even an iPhone. You gotta read the manual, know which buttons do what, how to fully utilize all the functions hidden in the menus. The more you are familiar with the body, the easier it gets, and the more control you have over what you want to shoot. Then read the manual again.

Limitations: I do now find the <100% view finder coverage, the 9 AF points a little bit of a (very minor) constraint. Yes, the D7000 is better, but as a beginner, it is hard to appreciate all the features the more advance/better D7000 can deliver.

But the dictum is true: spend more on lenses than body. No regrets starting with D90, learn the basics, master it, then move on.

And yes, I'm salivating at when D800 will come out. Too soon to upgrade to full frame? :)

b. Lenses

Armed with now 4 different lenses, here's what I think of em

Nikon 18-200mm.
Good: great all rounder, great for traveling, or shooting outdoors, in various diff scenarios, then you don't have to change lenses. This helped me better understand how shooting at various lengths affect the ultimately picture.

Bad: It does much more poorly in low light, due to the aperture size limitation. Pictures shot at 200mm, tend to be a bit soft (not as sharp) - like the one on the right.

I don't use it on a day-to-day now, only when I travel.

Nikon 35mm f1.8.

Good: cheap. light. small. Good for street photography as it is inconspicuous. (Right)

Big aperture so good for low light. Also for taking things with shallow depth of field - which I use alot when I take food photos (see below).

Bad: just 1 focal length (yes, zoom with your feet), and sometimes you just need to go wider for group shots, which is not always possible indoors.

This lens is the default lens on my D90 now.

Nikon 24-70mm f2.8.

Good: Reputedly one of Nikon's best and widely used lenses. Good for portraits (see below).
Also useful range to shoot, if you don't want to be all that close (like I shot for my son's 14th birthday).

Bad: Expensive, big and bulky FX lens (range isn't as versatile as a say 17-55 would be for DX). My most expensive but least used lens. I bought this, as I found a good reasonably priced 2nd hand piece in Vietnam.

But I wanted to try a professional grade lens. And I did. In hindsight, I would have gone for a Tamron or Sigma 17-50/55 f2.8 instead. Save the 24-70 for when I go full frame.

Tokina 11-16mm f2.8.
Good: Ultra Wide Angle. Perfect for night landscape/cityscape shots. Not all that bulky. See right for sample shot.

Bad: For portraits, or even group shots. See left - the edges get elongated. I should have used my 18-200 instead. Unless of course, you don't have space to move further back, then no choice but to use this.

This lens is also almost always with me.

If I had to start over again, I'll probably pick a Sigma 17-50 f2.8 lens instead of 18-200 (although it is hard for a beginner to be convinced of sacrificing zoom for aperture). Good range for DX, and big apertures are really the way to go.

c.Other equipment

Tripod $300-500. One of those things, that you only appreciate if you have it, and use it. The thought of lugging a tripod around, is daunting. But it is probably the next most important thing to have, after body and lens. You need the tripod to take night city shots, with nice light trails, star burst lights - buildings that come alive! Also, taking group shots, it is hard to ask just anyone to use your DSLR and snap away. You are better off setting it up, use a remote trigger to shoot.

Oh, get a carbon fibre one - it's much lighter (esp when you have to lug it around). Sirui makes reasonably priced ones. I have not outgrown it yet, so can't think to justify getting a Manfrotto or Gitzo.

Remote trigger $15 for original.
Small, cheap, prevents camera shake, a buddy for tripod use. No brainer.

Lens Pens $12
Forget the cheap imitation ones (I tried those). Get the original, it works wonders in cleaning lenses. Not that expensive anyway. Get a few.

Spares
Keep a spare battery; and spare memory card with you.
Not a lot of money, but will save your neck (forgot to charge battery, left memory card somewhere).

2. Understanding basics

It's fun to research about equipment, and go buy them. But the quality of the photos, is more about how you use what you have, then what you have.... really!

a.Start by understanding the basics
Aperture; Shutter Speed; ISO. Don't be afraid to use Manual mode - it isn't as scary as it seems. Bryan Peterson's Understanding Exposure is a great book to start off with. Highly recommended. Gives you confidence to shoot in manual. I also found Scott Kelby's trio of starter books an easy start, not too technical.

b.Understand how your camera works

Know how to switch from auto-focus to manual focus, or single point focus. Know how to change the settings quickly.

c.Understand the uses and limitation of the various lenses

There is no 1 best lens. There always is a compromise, for each lens. So be familiar with each of your lenses, know which is good for what circumstances - so that you don't have to drag all your lenses out with you (they are heavy!).

Then go shoot lots, experiment with the settings, trial and error. It's how you learn, build and gain confidence.

3.Workflow and Raw

I hated shooting in Raw, because the in camera Jpeg always turned out better processed. That is until I got hold of Adobe's Lightroom. This is a highly highly recommended software to get.

Firstly, it auto imports all your pictures, files them (how you want them to file), allows you to add key words, flag them, put star ratings on them - a fabulous database management to help you sort through and find thousands of pictures easily. Getting it all set up, is a pain. But short term pain, has long term gains.

Anyway, after searching and researching, this is my workflow.
a.Put SD card in computer

b.LR detects and imports. I add in auto-tuning and basic keywords to the whole batch.

c.I sort all my pictures in Countries/Cities, then get LR to file the pictures in dates via sub-folders. Doesn't matter how you decide, just be consistent.

d.I go through the pictures quickly, cull them down to typically half or even less.

e.I go through them again, flag those I want to process

f.Then I "develop" those flagged pictures, changing temp, tones, light, change to B&W etc. Note that LR's changes are non-destructive, so any changes can be undone. Presets available make developing easy! and you also have the option to finetune it bit by bit, if you want.

g.I also add in more specific keywords/ratings to the final selected pictures.

h.Finally, I export them as Jpeg into a temp folder - to publish to Facebook or other websites. Also easy to sync folder to iPad/iTouch/iPhone.
Sometimes I add simple watermark, size changes depends on what I want to use them for. The good thing is, you can export numerous times, easily.

Ok, with the above, shooting in RAW works the best.
No added steps, seamless, and with RAW, you retain all the info captured, so you really don't have to bother with white balance anymore, and keep the picture at the highest quality. Sure it takes up more space, but SD cards and hard disk space isn't all that expensive nowadays. A 16 GB SD card (costing $30) can take more than 1000 raw files. That's plenty. I keep an extra card with me, just in case.

4. Learn, and keep learning
In today's world, access to information has never been easier (or more complicated!). I researched a lot of the above info, from the internet, forum postings, photog websites, magazines, youtube etc.

Favorite Magazine: Digital Camera (S$6.50 per month).
Favorite Website: Digital Photography School
Favorite books: Digital Photography by Scott Kelby; Understanding Exposure by Bryan Petterson. Both excellent books for the beginner.

5.Join others

Also, I've joined a facebook group of Indonesian Photographers (Motoyuk), where we submit pictures with all the technical advise, and get critiqued! Very humbling first time, but you'll learn how others see things, people with more experience give advise how to improve the shot. Also you'll see what kind of shots others shoot, with different technique and settings.

It's worth linking up with fellow like-minded enthusiasts, whether through Facebook, and a real life club. And great fun too!

6.Where to post/host your pictures?

I'm a regular facebook poster. Ok, that may be an understatement....
Besides facebook (which is more social), I did think about where I can put my pictures,in a more serious way?

http://www.flickr.com.
Too large a community, your photos get lost. I use it only to host pictures, where I want to post pictures in forums.

http://www.smugmug.com

I thought about doing a facebook page, or setting up my own photography website.
I wanted a place to showcase my "work". I didn't find Flickr's format to be all that inspiring. Tried out Wix; Smugmug and others. In the end, I found Smugmug to be the easiest to use, and nicest.

Well, after the trial period, I didn't sign up for Smugmug. I am not earning any money from photography, don't have any clients, no one to showcase my work too.

Honestly, for my own purpose, uploaded to Facebook is good enough for me.

http://500px.com
This is a place, for more serious photographers. You can upload your pictures, and other photographers can rate them. It's also a great place to see fantastic pictures!
When I first uploaded (10 at a go), I got views, some ratings and comments.
Unfortunately, the later pictures, had zero views. Maybe better to upload in batches.

7.Post online/Enter competitions

Something I only recently tried, is to see where you stand. I've started submitting a few photos for either online curated galleries, or competitions - just for the hack of it! You don't lose anything, but I will raise the bar/standards.

http://www.fineart-portugal.com
A curated gallery. Very high standards, only top 24 each day are published. I've never made it....
You can only upload like 1 picture 6 days?

http://www.podiumfoto.com
The lesser cousin. Also curated - but no quota, and standards are lower. I've submitted 7, and all 7 have been published. Bit of a morale booster :)

You can only upload like 1 picture in every 4 days?

http://www.pixoto.com/images-photography
My current favorite website, and highly addictive.
No limit to uploading pictures, ALL your photos get "competed" against others of the same category, and you'll be scored and ranked. Almost instant feedback for how good a picture is, rated by fellow photographers.
Besides the competing part, the pictures are inspiring, gives you ideas on things to shoot.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/gpindo/
There are also facebook groups, where you can post pictures. I've been posting a few times, get some comments or "likes" - which is an ego inflating thing :).
Strangely, 1 pictures which was posted, which slipped unnoticed (no comments or likes), instead ended up as this....

http://www.gphotoindo.com/?p=22782

8.Setting goals

Well, that's my 1st year.
For 2012, I'm thinking of setting some photography goals.

a.I want to learn how to shoot the "Brenizer" method, like this shot.
http://www.ryanbrenizer.com/2011/12/panorama-on-the-sly/

b.Flash
I'm flirting in getting a flash, or reading up more on flash.
I don't really know how to use one properly, and have no intention (for now) to do fashion shoots, or cumbersome complicated shoots with multiple flashes.

I think it would be a useful skill to shoot indoors, with a flash, without it being obvious a flash was used.

c.Full frame?
Big sensor, high ISO sounds very tempting. The day I can tell a FX picture from a DX picture, is the day I'll get the D800. Yes, it's a slippery slope.... haha.

ok, that's it from me for now. If you have questions (assuming there are readers... haha), ask!
Happy shooting :)

Soo Sing

He's got the whole world... in his hands.

2012-01-06T15:00:00.000+07:00

There are times that are good.
We're comfortable, safe.
Family's good, work may even be good.
Everything goes according to [our] plan.

Then things start to spiral out of control, freefall.
We awake from our slumber, barely.
Work hard, fight harder.

Reprieve. For a while.
Then we realize that we aren't kings of the Universe, our Universe.
Not even of ourselves.
And turn to the real King of the universe.

A short prayer.
Hope for the best.
Maybe God will be happy to Negotiate.
I scratch your back, you scratch mine.

Things continue to spiral downwards.
Hard work fails.
Good deeds goes, unanswered.
God's back doesn't need to be scratched.

Despair.
Where is God - when he is needed?
When I need him.
I need to hear him.

We finally are really brought to our knees.
God has my undivided attention now.
We run out of words to pray.
Agony and groans
The Spirit prays for us.
with words, only He knows.

The Galaxy Maker
Creator of the Universe - so large that we measure distances in how long it takes for light to reach. Speed of light, travelling for millions of YEARS, and it still hasn't reached the edge of His Creation.
Creation, that was spoken into being.

And yet, our small lives, are tenderly guarded
By Him
Who sent his own Son
to die for us.

No galaxy is too big
No problem too small
No lives too messed up
No sinner sinful
For our Sovereign God
Who holds us, in is Hands, nail pierced hands.

*********************************

Just realized that I wrote the above on 16 Feb 2011, but left it in draft.
Now that the storm has passed, I can see the light, and look back at God's marvelous plans and know that he is a God we can fully trust.

Jeremiah 29:11,12
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. THEN you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.

Camp Reflections

2011-11-17T14:53:00.001+07:00

My family had the privilege of heading back to Vietnam, for the Bible Club camp "High Seas Adventure" held in DongNai, Vietnam.

It was a year of Firsts, in many ways: first time for my youngest son to join the sleepover camp (finally old enough!); first time for my son to be involved as a Junior Counselor (big praise point, more later); first year I got involved in the camp music, first year I got "dragged" into doing a solo *cringe*; first time I got to be camp photographer!; first time I used a video cam; first time I "got out" of being a counselor (or so I thought.... more on this later); and first time giving a bible talk.

Wife and CH flew to Singapore on Wed, 16 Nov, to do a Visa run; then met us in HCMC on Thur 17 Nov. Our flight (direct from JKT to HCMC), was delayed for about 4 hours, so ended up arriving only midnight. Curt's driver, fortunately was still there waiting, and drove us to DongNai, reaching the campsite @ Green Club resort at 1am or so.

Friday morning, we're up! Having a look at the resort, it's a fairly typical Vietnamese resort, 2 star? - but quite a nice place, with lots of matured trees, large grounds. Only about half of the kids are there (they came up on Thur), the other half will be arrive after their school ends, Friday afternoon.

It's quite nice to see many old familiar faces, and get to meet a few new ones too! I was surprised that Curt stepped up, and became Captain Curt throughout the whole camp. He was THE MAN, taking charge of the kids - and he did a great job! It was also so nice to see the Vaughns both attend, stepping up to be counselors. *big thumbs up*

We all settle in, and I get started happily snapping away. I do note that one of the boys' group had Janell as a counselor. We normally have only male counselors for boys' groups; and female counselors for girls' groups. I decided to give being a counselor a break this year, indulge in my new hobby (photography), volunteered to do a bible talk, got roped in by my wife to play keyboard and even do a solo.... which I was not at all comfortable with. Anyway, I felt a little bad, that Janell had to stand in, since there weren't enough guys - but I couldn't be there on Thursday anyway, and what's done is done :)

Unfortunately, in the afternoon, we hear that one of the camp counselor's wife was ill, and had to be rushed to the doctor. I was asked whether I could stand in as counselor - and I just couldn't say no. There was no one else - So I did. God sure has a sense of humor - he let me think I could get away from being a counselor :)

Proverbs 16:9 The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps

Well, I had 3 kids (JuHa, Matthieu, SungJun), and a very matured Junior Counselor Jonathan. They were a great bunch, and the "easiest" kids to manage compared to the past 3 years. Thankfully, I also had Jonathan to help me, coz I was running around quite a lot, doing music practice, practice my solo item, take photographs, take videos - we were a great team - and I was very blessed.

I focused a lot on the "Counsel" times, and was thankful to know that my kids were all saved, and sure of their own salvation!

It was my son's first time as a Junior Counselor too, and I am thankful for his willingness to step up, and serve God. It was important part of his spiritual growing up too - no longer one of the campers, but have to be a responsible Junior Counselor. I think having one of his closest church friend in the group (Garett) was an adjustment 1st day, but he handled it well.

I love this picture (right). My dearest DY, stood up at the top of the slide for ages! Finally, she managed to go down once with Katherine, and after that - there was no stopping her!

An interesting change for camp was, everyone had to do their own dishes! And I was most impressed that my dear DY, decided to help people out with the dishes, on a few occasions, on her own accord.

I love how God is sovereign. I chose a passage, that was about God being life changing. But somehow, a week before camp, there was a miscom, and I was to do another passage instead - and I really felt like backing out. I like teaching adults, but wasn't so sure about "entertaining" kids. After spending time on the new passage, I realized that it was much more "suited" for me - Acts 28:1-10 on how Paul survived a snake bite. I did the boring powerpoint presentation, but picked more interesting pictures to tell my story. I also ended off challenging the kids about trusting in God's promises (John 3:36) - both in terms of our own salvation (John 3:36), as well as to challenge them to live out what Jesus says (Matt 5:44 on loving our enemies).

We got 2 musicians from the Filipino church, plus 2 more from the Vietnamese church we partner with, and the music was actually very good! Thankfully, so I only played when "necessary" or was free. Wouldn't have made a difference, really.... But I manage to get one of the Vietnamese (actually playing the drums), to play the guitar for me, for my solo. MUCH better, I hate playing and singing. He was very good, picked up fast - I couldn't have done it by myself.

See the girl in the middle? She's Natalia - and completely visually handicapped. But she loves to sing, and music, and apparently plays the piano. She did this solo item, and I played the piano, and whilst trying to learn the song, she remarked loudly: "You gotta keep up Dude!!!!" What a spunky little girl, with a big personality. Hearing her sing, was definitely one of the highlights. Wow.

We ended, like past years, with altar call. Seeing these kids accept Jesus in their lives, such a momentous life changing event, was indeed a privilege. This is what it is all about, starting our lives in Christ, growing in Christ, and finishing with Christ - it makes it all worth while, for my whole family to fly in, just for that, and to catch up with our spiritual family.

John 3:36 Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.

The highlights of the camp? In no particular order:
1.Being the camp photographer!
2.Serving God, even though at times I didn't want to. It always pays off!
3.The solo acts were great: my wife has the loveliest voice; Katherine and Natalia's items, melted everyone's hearts.
4.Seeing my oldest Son serve God
5.Catching up with friends
6.Teaching my group about Jesus, we had some really meaningful conversations.
7.Food! Food was great. Never ate so much breakfast.
8.I didn't get trampled by any animals....

Church Hunting

2011-11-09T07:37:00.001+07:00

I've never really had to "church" hunt.

I started off in Zion BP @ Serangoon Gardens, because that was the kindergarten I attended.
When I was in Australia, after falling away for many years, I decided to start afresh - and get started in a church. My flatmate, was a follower of The Way, and I just followed him, which ended up being Unichurch - which was where I finally "got it", and followed Jesus for real.

Unichurch had strong links with ARPC in Singapore, so it seemed a natural choice to settle there - where I've adopted as my home church since.
Going to Makassar, attending ICF was a no brainer, it being the only English speaking service around.
In Vietnam, there was a fellowship meeting in the same district which I stayed, and also recommended by a friend.

Coming here to Jakarta, it's different.
I asked a pastor friend from Australia, and he recommended 3! which is like 2 more than what I'm used to...

Church #1 was part of a large Indonesian church. Congregation of about 50. The only issue was that they didn't have any children's church in English.

Church #2 was a large International fellowship right smack in town. Distance wise, was probably the closest to my home. They were a polished bunch of folks, music was great, established children's chuch - mix of expats and Indonesians were about half. The 2 messages I heard, was good - sound, scriptural.

Church #3 was a church plant of #2. We loved the smallness of the group, very casual/cosy - everyone sits around tables, with coffee in the middle! We went about 3 times, and found that the teaching wasn't quite all that strong. And whilst it is "only" 20 km from my house - getting there on a Saturday was between 45min to 100min - each way. Also, despite the smallness of the group, I found it hard to connect with others there. I think my family liked this the best, but I struggled.

Church #4 was also a fairly large mixed congregation. A little more traditional. They spent the first 10-15min of the service, explaining from scripture, on why they were making a major shift in their "policy". I was very impressed! The message was also very sound, exegetical - I think the strongest in the lot. The only issue was, their Sunday school was held in the morning before service. During service, only our youngest had a separate class - so my older 2 had to sit through the whole service. This isn't altogether bad, it's been a model I flirted with, when we were in Vietnam. But it would also mean a very long Sunday morning for the family.

Church #5 was very close to church #3. But going on a Sunday, took less than half hour each way. We got to know a couple, through mutual friends. So we met them there. First week, wasn't very representative, it was a school holiday, so congregation was smaller, main pastor away, and had sort of a family service - which was like a big Sunday school class. Second week, was back to normal. It's a smallish congregation, and service is more "high", besides the catholic services I attended in school as a kid, this has been the most liturgical service I've been in 20 years. I know the background of the main pastor, since he's from the same theological school linked with the church I attended when I became a Christian. So preaching was sound. The main difference was, the people were just really friendly! Both weeks, we had people coming up to us, to have a chat. We've had people inviting us to their homes. People hung around after service, chit chat over coffee and cakes, then went out for lunch.

It's been a 2 month journey of search. I've pretty much visited the churches I wanted to visit, and needed to make a decision pretty soon, so that we can settle in quickly. And after much thought and prayer, this is what I think is most important for me, in looking for a church to be part of.

1. Teaching. Above all else, the approach to scripture has to be sound, evangelical.

2. Sunday school. The family is a big part of the decision making process. We talk with our kids, what they thought. My kids seem to like the smaller groups, which was more personal. It'll be really nice for the church to have an English children's church, and a place where my kids feel more comfortable.

3. Fellowship. This, is I guess what seals it. I got to know a few people from church #2, and would not have been disappointed to have settled in there. But what struck me about church #5 was how outward looking and warm they were, especially to newcomers.

I guess it is something everyone knows in theory, but harder to put in practice. In the church I was part of in Singapore, it grew from 1 service of 100 to 3 services of 1000+ - and it's hard to even keep up with even regular attenders, especially in our very busy lives. We get comfortable, talk with the people we know, want to catch up with, people with the same demographic. It really is quite hard for a new person to get "plugged" in, often taking years. For me, it is a good reminder, now that I've been on the other side (a newcomer).

It's an encourage to keep being outward looking, go beyond saying hello, how are you, and see you next week. Being in a church, is a sense of belonging, and all the more so for a newcomer. It's the sharing of lives, and unfortunately, it involves time and effort. It's being in a family - the family of God, that has been purchased by the blood of Jesus. THESE are the relationships that will count in eternity.

Hebrews 10:24-25

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

The Journey (Part 2)

2011-09-10T23:43:00.002+07:00

Ok, Mum died.

It took about a week, for our insurers NTUC, to arrange for a Rome Undertaker, to liaise with Florence Undertaker - and prepare the body for repatriation.

Trying to get flights out, was another challenge.
Undertaker could not get space on SQ (well, had to wait 2-3 weeks). Next Thai Airways flight (original ticket), was also going to be in 2-3 weeks. After a call to SQ, not only did they get us space on the best available flight, they helped my dad and me find space on the same flight, my brother and his family to fly back from Venice/London respectively - to Singapore, all at a very special compassionate price.

On the day we were to leave, we had to get a car (arranged by NTUC - plug: never travel w/o travel insurance. Never.) to Rome, to fly out. Enroute there, we got stuck on the highway - at some points, we were just stationary for... 45 min, and no idea of how long we were going to take. Our 2 hour buffer time, just whittled away. Oh, interesting thing I observed. Whilst stuck, a truck came along the road shoulder, stopping and distributing water. Angels from Road Assistance. And free too!

After what seemed ages, we finally got past the trouble spot (truck accident), and raced to the airport, reaching at 11am, for 12 flight. That was the cut-off SQ gave us, and we (even our luggage) made it.

Throughout this whole episode in Italy, I am so thankful that
1. The medical care my mum got, was 2nd to none. (ok, apparently, Italy is rated #2 in the world, after France, according to my uncle). The doctors and nurses showed empathy, constant care and attention. And it was also free.... which probably explains the national debt.

2. For the time I got to spend with my dad. Priceless.

3. The hotel we stayed in, the staff were super helpful. They did their best to find rooms for the 3 of us, when it was super peak season, and went out to assist us, whether it was to print things, fax things, at all hours.

4. That my mum got to spend her last 2 weeks, with the family. This truly what made her the happiest.
We lived in Vietnam, my brother in London - and I know she misses spending time with us, esp the grand kids. This was really the best way for her to go.

5. I felt that my dad was really thoughtful towards my mum, leading up to her illness. And my mum responded very positively. She told me "without my dad, she'll already been dead", a few days before her hospitalization. I was positively stunned.

6. Throughout the time in ICU, I thought that short of a full healing by God, the current outcome would have been the best. My mum isn't one to handle illness all that well, and with so many of her organs shutting down, one at a time, there has to be some permanent damage, even if she recovers. Plus a lung tumor to deal with. And with the tissue deterioration, she would freak out completely, seeing the state of her physical body. So self-fishly, her being sedated, possibly slipping into a coma, then passing away, those days in the ICU, I'd never seen my mum so... calm, so at peace - ironically.

7. Singapore Airlines was great, in helping to get the coffin and us back.

8. That in God's timing, we arrived at the airport, just in the nick of time.

What can I say, except that everything went according to God's perfect plan. Praise God above the heavens. Praise God.

The Journey (Part 1)

2011-09-08T21:24:00.001+07:00

I'm finally here.

It has been an interesting journey, to say the least.
From trying to find a job, to finally getting one - itself was a journey of faith. God is faithful, I'm the one being trained in faithfulness. From his timing, his choice of location, to the company I'd work with, the terms of employment, it is in God's perfect will & timing. I sure wished it to be quicker, more exotic, and plush, but I've decided to let God be God, and stop trying to advise Him on how to run my life.

I started being open to another job, some 1.5 years back.
A work arrangement, which meant to be temporary, turned out to be temp for more than 9 months, I was just traveling between 50% to 75%, which was quite unsustainable. What I thought to be initially manageable, started to take a toil on the family. I didn't have a choice.

The straw that broke the camel's back, was the company's decision to relocate me from Vietnam, back to Singapore. With the same job, and in fact plans to expand to another country, the traveling would only increase - and I knew for certain, I had to find another job.

In God's timing, I started going for interviews. Initially, my search was focused on overseas jobs. I gave myself till end 2010, then focused on Singapore jobs.
A couple of jobs, went to 3 and some nearly 4 interviews. I was certain one of those jobs, would close - the fit was just.... perfect. Strangely, God closed those doors.

Trusting in God's sovereignty, started to get "frustrating".
Trying to understand what plans he has for me, beyond comprehension.
I kept telling myself, God's plans and timing are always perfect - and trying my hardest to believe it.
And I stopped telling our prayer partners, about the job status - after so many near-misses.

Month after month, there were just more frustrations.
Time was ticking. The movers were going to come in on 24 June. I couldn't confirm the destination, and kept delaying my reply from May, 1st week of June, 2nd week of June, to finally - they told me the last cut-off to tell them of any change, is 22 June.
Finally, my official letter of employment came... on 21 June evening. Too close for comfort!

But through God's sovereign hands, the move was all sorted, and everything went smoothly - and we were ready to leave Vietnam on 1 July for good, with a peace of mind.

HOLIDAY TIME!
I had long planned to go on an extended family holiday (with my folks, and brother's fam in London). I always wanted to go Italy, and my wonderful wife, planned it out perfectly.

1st stop - Rome.
It was hot. 40 degrees most days.

Colosseum by night.

But a photographer's haven. I had purchased a new tripod too, just before the trip. So I got to experiment using it at night. My fav pix from Rome right. Loved Vatican too. Once is probably enough.

1st few days, my mum was super gungho - walking everywhere, refusing taxi when we knew she was tired, even telling the guide how at 73, she was used to walking alot (refusing the lift up 2nd floor). By day 4 or so, she started to tire easily. Add to her not really sleeping well at nights (jet lag?), the tiredness was catch up on her, we guessed.

Walking through the streets of Assisi

2nd stop - Assisi.
Just a stop over for a night. Quint little town, very medieval. We loved walking through the town, and thankfully, there weren't many people.

That day, Mum finally crashed out that day, she slept for nearly 24 hours, waking for meals, but strangely just really groggy.

3rd stop - Florence.

Duomo at dusk

Home of leather industry, and Ferrigamo, it is a whole town of tourist traps, with throngs of tourist. Everywhere. We did escape out to Siena, San Mignano, and Pisa - which, unsurprisingly, was also full of tourists.

But the cooking class we did was fun; 1st time using the Segway (except one breaking down, and we were stuck for 1 hour plus). Pix of Duomo on the right, the whole city (it isn't very big), kinda revolves around that.

Mum's left leg started to swell. A doctor said it was thrombosis - nothing very serious.
She went with us, to all those cities - although she was tired quite a lot. My dad spent 1 whole day, looking for a foldable cane, for my mum - and she was elated at his efforts - when she got it.
Mum was ok during the cooking class - but suddenly, in the afternoon - got the chills. I was down with the flu, so happily took my mum back in a taxi to rest.

The next morning, my dad knocks on our door - saying that my mum is going to the hospital.
Shocked out of our slumber, I went to their room - only to see 4-5 big ambulance personnel in the small little room of theirs. My mum had difficulty breathing in the morning - so my dad decided to call ambulance.

Late morning, I went to the hospital. Saw my mum struggling with the tubes.
They gave her an oxygen mouth thingee, and she hated it! And also insisted on eating, although the nurses said that she couldn't coz they needed to run tests on her - to find out what is wrong. They had no choice, but to sedate her. Little did I know, that that was the last time I would see my mum conscious.

Entrance to the ICU area

Later that day, they came back with the prognosis - Septic Shock.
Erm, ok. Nothing registers. My brother calls at night, asking me to read up on Septic Shock.
Oh.... not good. >50% mortality rate. Mum is transferred to sub-ICU unit, then to the ICU.
When we met the ICU doctor, this nice lady, just kept saying sorry, and even gave each one of us a hug!
I was stunned. It seems that it started from the right leg (which was strangely the good leg) infection, that went into the blood stream, and "exploded" through the system.

Kidneys were the first to shut down, and so they had to put her on a dialysis machine.
They pumped through the strongest anti-biotics available.

Day 2 and 3, no real progress. Body is not quite responding to the anti-biotics. Infection seems to have spread to the tissues, and can see blood blotches on the right leg. This spreads daily, first day, lower leg. 2nd day, upper leg. 3rd day, body. They tried blood culture, but found nothing as the bacteria was wiped out by the anti-biotics. They tried tissue culture, to see if they can find which strain of bacteria. Also put in a special dialysis machine, to filter out the Sepsis in the blood as well. Things are uncertain. Doctors asked us whether we wanted to call priest in.... which we agreed. So some priest came, did his thing in italian or latin, shook our hand, and left. He didn't speak any English, and we didn't speak any Italian, so had no idea what he did (last rites? said some prayer?). This could last a day, or even months. No one knows.

Day 4 seems to be the turning point.

We spent lots of time in the waiting area.

Everything medically possible, has been tried. They have consulted other infectious diseases centers, called in all their specialists - they have run out of ideas. Infection is spreading. Liver, Cardio, Lungs, starting to be affected. Thrombosis has spread to hands too, but they say it's the least of our problems. Only thing is to wait and see if the body responds.

Oh, there is also possibly a lung tumor too. Also the high temp of 40 degrees (despite being covered in ice). Not good, but in light of what else is happening, don't worry about at this stage.... interesting how one's perspective changes.

I counted, at least 9 syringes of things going in my mum, plus dialysis machine, plus other machines and tubes. If my mum wakes up, she'll freak out completely.

Plans to go Venice, are scrapped.
Not knowing how long mum's condition will be, my family leaves on originally planned return date of 21 Jul, Wed; brother's family on 22 Jul, Thur. I stay on to accompany my dad - which was really great, because we got to talk lots - more than I ever had, in my entire life, accumulated.
I learned about his grandparents, his parents, my uncles and aunties. How life was growing up, how poor they were. My dad excelled in school (genes... didn't get inherited) and he got his ticket out of poverty by getting a Colombo plan scholarship to Queensland - where he lived a rather.... colorful life.

On Friday afternoon, things were bad. My mum heart rate, started to fluctuate - it went from 110, to 30 in seconds. Doctors, tell us to expect the worst - they don't expect anything more than a day or 2.
We call my brother, now in London, to try and get back here.
He tells me to convey a message for my mom's younger sis, that they'll be ok, that my mum can go peacefully.

It was the hardest thing for me to do. I didn't want to do it.
But I did walk to my mum's side, held my mum's hand, and said it for my aunt.
I fought hard, to hold back my emotion. Barely.

My brother manages to get a flight, supposed to arrive midnight. But flight is delayed, and only arrives at 3am.

My mobile rings in the middle of night, jolting me from my sleep. In my stupor, I stumble for the phone, before accidentally pressing the "button" instead of "answer". Italian number.
A minute later, the room phone rings, I answer it, and the hotel says that we should hurry to the hospital. I convey the message to my dad, and he simply replies "ok". I call my brother, who is in the taxi on the way to the hotel, and he diverts to meet us at the hospital.

The walk to the hospital, a familiar walk we've done day after day, is a quiet one - there aren't many people around, we walk a brisk, quiet, sombre walk.
At the hospital reception, they stop us, asking why we are there. I tell them that the ICU called. They refuse to let us through. After an agonizing, and thoroughly annoying 5 minutes, they finally let us through.

Buzzing the ICU door, my brother opens the door. We are 5 minutes too late, he says. I fume.
We walk towards the bed, and see my mum's lifeless body. It doesn't hit me. It just feels... surreal.
I find out, that she actually passed away at 3.15am, and then they called us - we would have been too late, anyway.

She's been called home.

After a life of physical ailments, she has been wonderfully healed - permanently.
No more discontent, no more complains. No more maid problems. She is in the bosom of Jesus - where she will find perfection, true peace, true contentment.

The last 6-8 months, have been perhaps the most... challenging time for me.
But God has been teaching me to trust in him, His will and timing is always perfect.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

10 Vietnam Take Aways

2011-05-18T11:52:00.000+07:00

Surprisingly, this is not food related. I have my favorite place to bang ve/ ta pao/ take-away my lunch here, but that's another story.

We had a fabulous dinner last night with close friends, and got me thinking after.
As we near the end of our Vietnam posting, we've had the opportunity to look back and "review" the past 3 years.

1.R/ship with kids
We struggled with various issues (*cough* kids *cough*) whilst in Singapore just before, and really, I can say that with more time available, more family holidays, less school pressures, closer friends' support, we're really bonded better, and have a much better r/ship with them. Better... not necessarily good.

2.Kids salvation
My youngest Son accepted Christ in my kitchen, during Bible Club with Bonnie facilitating.
Shortly after, my daughter accepted Christ whilst doing QT with me one night.
What more can I say, except Thank You God!

3.Wife's faith
Vietnam has been really good to her. She found a group of committed lady Christians, all living nearby, and had the wonderful opportunity to pray, learn the bible, plan for kids camps, work parties, share, cry (my assumption....) and grow in the Lord. It's the bestest it's ever been.

4.My faith
I shared this morning with Men's Fellowship - I think in terms of digging into and learning God's Word, I've probably grown the least, since I became a Christian back in 1992.
Unfortunately, in the last 10 odd years, my learning has had an external impetus, whether it is leading bible studies, or giving talks - I was forced to really study the word of God. I do think I've missed that in the last 3 years (my excessive traveling has not really helped much).

I guess in hind sight, I should have done more, and something for me to work on, in my next phase in life.

But knowledge is not faith.

God has forced me to grow in other areas of my life.

5.Kid's ministry
After teaching Sunday School @ ARPC for couple years in mid 90s, then 1st couple of years in Indonesia, I told God, and myself - that that's not a gift I have, and that was not an area of ministry. I gave it a go for about 4 years, but it just wasn't working out. I much prefer working with adults.

Of course, when we arrived, and Viet fellowship was planning for kid's camp - there was announcement week, after week, asking for men volunteers to help out. 80% of the kids attending were boys, and only 20% of the adults helping out were men.

I conveniently looked the other way.

Week after week, the announcement came, and I started to get a little more uncomfortable, can I just sit there, with nothing really in ministry, fresh in the Motherland of Vietnam, available but unwilling? Finally, pure guilt hurled me unwillingly to raise my hand.... what's the worse that can happen?

Ah.... foolish question. A dear friend S, then came that after much prayer, God had impressed on her, just the right kid to be put in my group. Ok.... now, who am I to argue with God right? Let's just say, it made all subsequent camps... a real breeze after.

But God tore down the mental walls I had conveniently built up. Despite the challenges, I had a blast. The super ladies, really organized - the amount of effort that went in, was unbelievable. It was such a privilege for me, to be part of that ministry - and I just came back for more!

6. Music ministry
I've dabbled a little in the past, but nothing really formal or serious.

But I was drawn into the music ministry here, ended up playing regularly, song leading and even doing both concurrently (after vowing never to do that again, after a failed 1st attempt 13 years ago). Wow. I am thankful to T, who forced to learn to play in D, E, A (I was only comfortable playing in C or G previously). I learned to play using guitar chords (I used to only play by ear).

I learned to organize a team including other singers, drummer, working through song arrangements, twiddle with sound equipment (which I have NEVER touched before).

And we did a Men's Singing item this Easter, which was again a first for me, but a fabulous opportunity which went a lot better then any of the practices we had!

7. Serving on Leadership team
My wife and I, always had different ministries... always.
When we were both invited as part of the leadership team, I was honored to, and absolutely delighted that my wife agreed too! What a blessing it is, to be able to serve together with spouse. Thank you God.

8. Working with different kinds of people.
I had expected, from my previous posting, to get involved more with tent-making work, but from language barriers (I am linguistically challenged), to how God opens and closes doors, our ministry ended up mostly with and amongst fellow expat Christians, and *gasp* even Americans!

I've never really had American friends (for those of you who say, I've nothing to lose, shoosh!), and obvious God thought it to be completely unacceptable, and threw in our way loads of them! Our closest family/church friends and neighbors, turned out to be Americans (one of them, confessed that she didn't understand a word of what I said, for the first 6 months.... ). And it is such a special friendship we had, our kids were at each other houses all the time (don't they go to school?), fairly similar ages, and we even gone on a few holidays with them!

Whilst still evangelical, the Christian background was still diverse, much more diverse from those we've known previously. Admittedly, I struggled, leadership decision were being made at a glacial pace; not a lot of commonalities to talk about; differences in church music backgrounds, etc.

But looking back, oh how God has indeed brought together people from all walks in life, from all peoples and nations - and we can truly be 1 body, true brothers and sisters in Christ.
As different as our friends have been, they've been a true family from the day we arrived - so again Thank You God.

9.God's timing
God's timing is perfect. Quite easy to say it, think it, but hard to believe it, and for the heart to accept it.

God has allowed me to run on my own wisdom, till I ran out of ideas, then forced me to go back to Him, and then.... kept me praying. I must say that I've learned to depend on Him a lot more, my heart is a little bit better "educated" in trusting in His timing and plans for my family.

Whatever happens to us, in the next 6 months, is all in His Hands - and He chooses to reveal those plans, when the timing is right. But it'll be nice if he hurried up a little.....

And add to that, I'd like more patience NOW.

10.New Hobbies
It's always fun to do different things. In Indonesia, we did scuba diving.
2009: I learned to ride a motorbike.
2010: We started running - and did 2 big runs (10km @ Beijing Great Wall and 21km @ Angkor Wat).
2011 (actually Dec 2010): I got into photography, and suffice to say, I've enjoyed it tremendously - and take a lot of pictures!

ok, 10 is a nice round number. Enough rumblings from me, for now.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to proper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

10 Photography Learnings from a Newbie

2011-01-10T16:18:00.006+07:00

I finally did it!

After researching, and mulling over it (more than half a year), I got myself a DSLR on 18 Dec 2010! Here's my 2 cents on what I've learnt.

1.Lens last a lifetime, Bodies don't
You will/can upgrade bodies every few years - but good lenses lasts a lifetime.
So better spend $$ on good lens; whereas get the body that will suit you, for 1-3 years or so.

2.Body:Nikon D90
I went with Nikon, just by the sheer fact that most pro/serious photographers use them. If it's good enough for Scott Kelby, it's good enough for me :)
The D90 was well reviewed, and a number of comparisons, edged out Canon.
The last test, was just handling the camera - I just preferred where the knobs/buttons were.

I decided NOT to go for the newly launched D7000, coz the body was nearly double the costs, and for a beginner DSLRer like me, I doubt I can tell the diff.
Besides, D90's price was close to US pricing, whereas D7000 was US$200 more.

See point 1 above also.

3.Lens 1: 18-200mm
My photo guru friend, Bryan, recommended a 17-55 f2.8 lens over a 18-200 zoom.
But the 17-55 was twice the price, had lesser zoom (for a beginner, zoom seems very important), and aperture size was just theoretical.

So I went with the jack-of-all trades 18-200 zoom.
Ken Rockwell loves this lens. And until such time, I really know what I really want, then I'd get better/more specialized lens.

Besides, just carrying 1 lens, seem very appealing....

3.Lens 2: 35mm f1.8mm
After shooting with the 18-200 zoom for a couple of days, I was not happy with how it was taking shots at night. It obviously can't be the skill of the photographer, so it has to be the equipment?

So I got myself a 35mm prime lens - and I absolutely loved it!
The lens performs beautifully at night.

Prime Lens is the way to go.... but you gotta zoom with your feet.
So, I'm going to be using Zoom for daytime/outdoor use (it's still pretty ok, and zoom is useful, at times) and the prime for night/indoor use.

4.Get UV filter for every lens you buy.
If you drop it, or get a scratch on, replacing a $10 filter is less painful than a $1k lens. In fact, get it on when you buy it - no reason to take it out after, so the lens never gets dirty.

5.Read the manual
I spent time reading the manual, just to learn what buttons do what, and see what the camera can do.
No point getting a DSLR, if you're just going to "Auto" everything....

6.Equipment is just the beginning
Good photographs, is much much more about the eye of the photographer, then the equipment. But researching and spending $$ on equipment is quite good fun too!
But it does nothing towards taking good photographs

7.Focus on the eyes
find the cutest subject matter in the shot, and aim at the eyes.
If that is not in focus, the rest don't matter.

8.Small Aperture

Still experimenting, but I use the smallest aperture available (theoretically, the sharpest aperture is 2 stops smaller than the largest... but I can't tell the diff, so still experimenting). This gives a nice clarity the subject matter, and throws everything else out of focus.

9.Perspective
For kids, take pictures at their level, looks better than looking down at them.
If you are have a shallow Depth of Field from large aperture, make sure you get the eyes (for portraits) focused/clear.

Also, the "cutest" subject matter in the pix, should be the focus. People like young babies, or elderly folks. Middlea-agers (like me), clone them out.....

10.Take lots of photos
The chance of 1 shot, and getting it perfect, is pretty slim - sometimes focus is out, smile is out, or just bad lighting.
I use "multi" shots, and for each shot, I take multiple shots - which gives me a better chance of getting a nice shot.

The other thing I do is, delete the bad shots immediately. Just a feel good factor, that by the time you sync up with the computer, you at least have average to good pix :)

As the saying goes, Practice Makes Perfect :)

Happy Shooting!

Fourteen

2010-06-22T21:48:00.003+07:00

It’s been fourteen years,
Since we “I do”-ed
We proved the naysayers wrong,
I knew we could

It’s been fourteen years,
The day I didn’t stop beaming
The day we exchanged our wedding rings
To start a life we had been dreaming

It’s been fourteen years,
Since we sweated out at Prinsep
Waltzing to the Ritz Carlton
Together step by step

It’s been fourteen years,
As we started our journey,
From Singapore to Makassar
To Vietnam and eternity surely

It’s been fourteen years
From Hertz and Price Waterhouse
To SingTel, Pat’s and now Ascendas
It’s a life together, since we took our vows

It’s been fourteen years,
We served at ARPC,
To ICF Makassar, and now Crossroads
Together serving God, we will always be

It’s been fourteen years,
With now three children to love and care
With our faith to guide us
And our lives we share

It’s been fourteen years
Remember our 1st – the Cat from Hell!
How nice to now have, loveable Moppy
What will our next pet be like, who can tell?

It’s been fourteen years,
Despite the endless tears
God has been faithful,
We can rest our fears

It’s been fourteen years,
I cannot thank God enough & I shudder
For keeping us in faith
To Him and to each other

It’s been fourteen years,
I wonder what’s next in store
In our journey before us
I’m sure looking forward to much more

It’s been fourteen wonderful years
Oh how wonderful we’ve lived a life
How time flies when you’re having fun
Thank you for being my wife

Serengeti Trek Camp

2010-03-15T07:57:00.011+07:00

Serengeti Trek Camp, 12-14 March 2010.

Pre-arrival
The group of ladies from our fellowship, are amazing.
They (Shawna, Lynda, SoMin, my wife and others), put in massive amounts of work, for months, to organize our yearly Children's Bible camp.
The guys, well, we work, take leave on Friday, and show up.

So my story starts on Friday after lunch.
We all meet at the "Crossroads" compound (4 out of 12 residents attend our fellowship).
The registration table is set up, with bag tags, name tags, fruit/snack ready.
All the "counselors" (group leaders), are given a pack - registration forms of all the kids in our groups (I got 5 kids from 10-12 yrs of age), schedule, pens, and a clip board (oh.. i always wanted one of those!) - we prayed, and off we went!

55 kids arriving later, we loaded up into 2 big buses and off we went to Mango Garden resort in DongNai. We had to think up of our own group name and cheer, and my kids (Garrett, Jackson, Tim, Ben & Eric) agreed on Serengeti Penguins, and the following cheer:

We are the Serengeti Penguins!
We can't fly, coz we're scared of the sky
We are the best, better than the rest
We KILL Fish!

Arriving at Mango Garden
We get a warm reception from the folks who went in the morning to set up.
The room are all set up, decorated, bags in place.

Ok, some highlights of the camp:
1. Food.
The food was fabulous. I over-ate - both coz we used up so much energy, and it was just quite yummy.
And I also found out that we had so many problems in the kitchen, the cooler broke down, food was attacked by an ARMY of ants, hygiene standards were questionable - it is just amazing that no one got sick, and the rest of us were none the wiser.
Thanks to Lulu, Victor, Cally & gang! You guys are precious.

2. Accommodation.
Oh, my group had a blast! We had pillow fights, Uno games, and then more pillow fights.
I got my boys to bathe and brush their teeth, before I allowed them 1 last pillow fight on Sat nite, 9pm. They all got to it pronto, and when I ended the fight at abt 9.30pm, I suddenly realized... that it probably wasn't so smart to get the boys all pumped up with adrenaline, just before bedtime... d'oh! Ok, so just 1 Uno game, before lights out.
You know what? 5 min later, everyone was asleep! well.... I was anyway.

3. Amazing G-race
The games were planned by my wife, and helped by Wendy. Now, my wife is a person who doesn't like games; and both of them hadn't watched Amazing Race on TV at all.
And you know what, it was THE highlight of the camp.

Friday nite: we played "catch the tail" in the dark.
we all were in the tennis courts (kids can't get lost?), and the kids were given strips of clothe painted with glow-in-the-dark paint. Run, grab a tail, and try to avoid getting yours grabbed.
Everyone could take part, it was great fun for all, except my team who came in 2nd from last...

Sat morning: 3 parts
1st part, count squares within a black rectangle in lobby were we started, multiply and go to the room number. The problem is, only 1 kid really counted, and got it wrong. We all ran off, with the wrong room number. and so, we got a bit lost.
B, who saw other kids running in diff direction, got all excited, insisting that we go that way. Then he saw other kids running to station #2 and #3, and insisted we follow them too! But we havn't even got to 1st station.
When we finally found a games master (Theresa, God bless her heart), she finally directed us to station 2, and so we dashed off, being really really last.

When we got to the restaurant, guess what? I lost B.
He ran off in a different direction altogether! I left my group to do the challenge (eat diff kinds of food like wild boar, croc meat, liver concoction & ostrich), to go hunt him down.
I finally found him, and he was unhappy, and I was unhappy - but we finally joined the group with him crying his eyes out.

Well, God sent an angel in SoMin. She "happened" to be at the restaurant, and gave comfort to B, whilst allowing my group to head off to the next challenge.
Next challenge was at the swimming pool, kids had to find a clue in the pool, and on the the "island" in the middle of the pool. Well, all of my remaining kids jumped in anyway, fully clothed.
Unfortunately, we ran out of time, and had to end - not completing challenge #2 and not even smelling challenge #3.

Saturday afternoon, the Amazing GRace continued.
I am so thankful that SoMin agreed to come alongside, and in case B wanted to head off, she'll "shadow" him.

Challenge #4 - make playdough and shape animals
Ok, simple enough to follow recipe, everyone took part in making it, and all made their own animals, mostly snakes, 1 snail, a croc and an Eiffel Tower..... ok, no one made Eiffel Tower.

Challenge #5 -Hoola Hoop
Whilst we were going through the instructions, there I see B, picking up the hoola hoop, and just going at it! So, since we had to pick someone to hoola hoop across the stage, he gamely did it.
And I tell, that moment was priceless. All of us cheered our hearts out, B was so proud of that moment. He was the star.

Challenge #6 - Ostrich Ride
Ok, this one was just for the crew leaders, i.e. adults, aka me.
We were 3rd to reach the station. 1st 2 adults rode on the ostrich, and it looked easy, the ostrich just walked slowly - no problems.
My turn, and after I got on (there is no harness, just sit on the Ostrich's back, and hang on to its wings) - I'm not sure what happened, and but I was out of the stable like a bat out of hell (pardon the saying) - like a rodeo, I gripped its wing for my dear life, and finally after 30-40 meters, I fell off, got trampled by the Ostrich. Dazed, I got out of there, whilst everyone seems to have been amply entertained.
The funny thing was, at night, the kids made up a game, where you can have a soosing ostrich ride. 1 kid would piggy back another, run, then dump the kid into the ground plus the bonus trample.

Challenge #7 - Paddle Boat/Word Challenge
Next up, we got 2 volunteers to get into a paddle boat, and hunt down the games master in the middle of lake for the next clue. The rest of the kids had to do this word puzzle.

Challenge #8 - Water Balloon/fling
We reached this station being 2nd. The idea was for 2 teams, to use towels (each kid grabbed a corner) and throw a water balloon over a net, back and forth. Again, all of us took part, and when we got into a rhythm, we aced it, coming away with highest points.

Challenge #9 - pass the water ball
Last game for sat, pass 5 sponge ball to all members, in sequence.
I was glad that it was over. Being dazed from the fall, my left arm throbbing from the trample. Ostriches are really that light.

Happily, at the end of Saturday's game, from being LAST (after morning's games), we got into 5th (out of 8). My kids were great, B was a real part of each challenge - thanks SoMin for your help, and I am just so thankful to God!

Ok, Sunday had the last Amazing GRace session.
Challenge #10 - Charades
Challenge #11 - M&M challenge, eat a whole bunch of em, without using hands
Challenge #12 - Find letters and make out clue to the next place
Challenge #13 - Pay a resort staff a compliment in Vietnamese, and get them to rate.

The challenges were really well planned, and really covered a whole spectrum of activities, allowing diff kids with diff abilities to shine at diff games. I'm really really proud of my wife and her team for pulling it off!

4. Talks
All the talks were done at interesting and appropriate venues.
Steve's talk on Gideon, was done amongst bamboo trees in the dark; Tracie's talk on Daniel in Lion's den was done at the bear pit; Shawna's talk on Medrach/Meshach/Abednego in Furnace was done at the camp fire pit; Brett's talk on Paul & Silas in jail was done at the tennis courts, with its high fences (like jail?).
Whilst Steve is always a fantastic speaker, my favorite talk was Tracie's talk. So hard to make a familiar story fresh, and she did a great job, presenting it like a newspaper reporter in Babylonian Times. It certainly grabbed me, and I know the story pretty well.

5. Altar Call
This is what it is all about. At the end of the camp, Steve led an altar call. Quite a few kids went up, many responding to accept Jesus for the 1st time!
I noticed one of my cabin boys, Ben, going up too. He had already accepted Jesus, and when asked why he went up, he simply said "I want to know Jesus more".
Even one of the adult helpers, accepted Jesus!

Oh how the heavens rejoice, strain and you can hear the angels going wild with applause and joy.
The camp has really shown me how great and wonderful a God we believe in. Everything was put in place, my stories are just a small part of the miracles God had worked during the camp.
We had a sharing session last night (Tuesday night), and everyone just had praises for God, in how he worked, in our kids, and in us.

This is what life is all about, what it is worth living for.

John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son - that whoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have eternal life.

Running (parts of) a Marathon - Diary of a completely lazy, clueless, unprepared Marathoner don't-wannabe,

2010-01-05T12:01:00.008+07:00

Dec 2009: In the beginning
Ok, so my wife has this crazy idea of going for Beijing Marathon in May 2010. The Pashens (American church friends who just stay behind us) are planning to go as well!

Of course, I have never ever ran longer than 10km at one go (and this was like 20 years ago during my fit army days). I can't even remember when was the last time I ran 1 km; and my only excercise is going to the TV room on 3rd floor of my house - yes, I'm not exactly in the pink of health and fitness.

Anyway, I think it's fantastic - never been to Beijing or the Great Wall of China, plus various doctors have been telling me I need to excercise over the last decade or so. A few friends tell me 5 months is enough to train.
So great! Kill a few birds with one stone, and hopefully not myself along with it.

AND, you have the option of half marathon or 10 km. Hmm... or was there a 1 km option? gotta go check the website again.

4 Jan 2010
Happy New Year!
Came back to HCMC, and decided to start on my training regime - always a perfect time to start a new resolution at the new year.

Woke up at 6am, and planned to run the AnPhu circle (supposed to be 4 miles or 6km according to Mark Pashen). Yes, it was him who told me 5 months is enuf to train. Right.
So I put on me running shoes, and headed out the door.

10min later, I'm starting to pant, and walk till I reached BIS secondary (abt 1 km or less...) and the streets are flooded! Hmm. High tide again. I see this guy running from the opposite direction right through the flooded street, but I didn't feel like splashing thru 10-15cm of water (u know, spoils my.... pedicured toes, which I tried for the 1st time abt 3 months ago).

So.... I turn back - not too reluctantly.

Not too bad, jog 10min, walk 5. Jogged another 3, before walking another 3.
Half hour later, I reach my gate, and ran past it (feeling a little proud of myself). Another 100m, and the thought of no particular destination, body is starting to itch (happens when I start excercising after too long a hiatus), and finally the sweat is starting to make its way out of my pores - I turn back (come to think of it, am not sure whether I would have made all 6 km - but I would have attempted to, if it wasn't flooded!).

SUCCESS! I made it home in 1 piece.

5 Jan 2010
Oh.... body is protesting. Why am I doing this again? Oh, to try to be fit, reduce cholesterol.... try not to die too young. ok.

I think I will try my jog starting every alternate day.
Perhaps I should try and get hold of some guidelines about training schedules, how to prep for a run - rather than just by gut feel (my gut is feeling a little heavy at the moment).

to be continued..... groan.

I am not a happy camper

2009-08-26T12:13:00.004+07:00

At our men's fellowship, we were looking at Galations 3, and I mentioned that it is sometimes easy to forget that we need grace to finish the race, not just get us to the starting point; and added that regardless, we still needed to work out our Salvation (from Php 2:12) in the mean time - not to gain salvation, but after we get salvation, and cannot be "cruising" thereafter.

It was then that a full time Christian brother serving in same ministry "disagreed strongly" with me, saying that we only need grace, there is no effort on our part - it is all through Christ.
Now, I know where he is coming from, and it isn't wrong. Christ saves us, and through the Holy Spirit enables us to finish the race, enables us to put to death our earthly desires (Col 3), that we aren't bound by work of Law.

I felt derided & angry.

The choice of words may have not been 100% theologically correct, but hardly said deserving such a strong response.
In my nearly 20 years of growing as a Christian, I have been very fortunate to never experience an "attack" or "correction/rebuke", regardless of the theological blunders I have said/done.
It felt like an outright attack by a fellow brother, who is in ministry with me, cut deep.

And yet, I shouldn't be surprised.
Satan is all but pleased when unity of the body of Christ is being pulled apart.
All the better when pride is at stake.

Yes, it's pride, which is an obstacle to love.
Because my pride is hurt, I don't feel like loving this brother.

I wonder if Jesus felt the same.
I wonder what he felt, as he washed the feet of Judas - who was going to betray him; the feet of Peter - who was going to deny him 3 times; the feet of the other disciples - who were going to flee at his arrest & subsequent crucifixion.

And yet he loved them, as he does to me.
That's where the rubber hits the road - I feel angry; but Christ's love compels me to love.
Love isn't a feeling, but a decision, a choice you make.
I don't think Jesus enjoyed the process to the cross, but he decided to love, and so did it.

I pray that I will put aside my own pride; ask the Holy Spirit to open my heart and freely love.

The Christian walk sure doesn't feel effortless.

Life after birth

2009-03-12T12:55:00.002+07:00

Just something I wrote 5.5 years ago.

****************************************************************************
It used to be all so simple.
There I was, all growing up quite comfortably in this nice warm surrounding. A bit claustrophobic, but more snug than anything. Everthing I needed, I had. Everything I wanated, I got. But I was told that there was more to life than just hanging around, taking the occassional swim. I didn't quite believe it, I waited and waited, and life was pretty much status quo, I continued to live my life my own way, and it made no difference. I mean, who have thought that there's such thing as life after birth?

So I made myself comfortable, becoming quite attached to my nice umbilical cord. It was my everything, my food, my air, my companion, my life possession, my life. I caressed it, fondled it and treasured it. Where would I be without it? Quite unimaginable.

Then it began on 2 Sept. My precious failed me, I panicked. I had gambled my life's hopes on it, and my dearest umbilical cord just gave up on me. It really started getting cramped, claustrophobic, and tight. My walls around me were caving in, my life was falling apart, my fears realized. My end had come.
It felt like an eterrnity, but next thing I knew, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. It was blinding. I thought I died, but I lived, I found myself alive instead. What do you know... who would have thought that there's life after birth.

It's 5.04pm. I was born Goh Chang Jernn to 2 proud parents (Soo Sing & Sha-Rin), and 2 other annoying kids (Chang Hann & Di Yann), all of 3.1 kg and 49 cm.

Funny thing is that I wonder how real my life will be this time. Next thing they tell me, there's life after death.

Peace in Chaos

2008-12-08T09:32:00.005+07:00

I love taking the boat shuttle into town daily - away from the hustle and bustle, no incessant honks and crazy motorcyclist find new ways to kill themselves.

It's a 20 minute peaceful quiet ride, which I can find time to do my QT (when I wake up bit late), eat my apple (breakfast), read some, prayer or just reflect.

I did some reflecting recently - about life here in Vietnam.
God opened the doors some months back, for the family to relocate here - and we are exceedingly thankful. God is really really good - my kids are fully settled in school, family settled in the country.
My kids got back a "progress" report, and I was just blown away at the detailedness of the report, and just how positive it read. Least to say, it is a completely refreshing change from the school reports from Singapore (won't say too much...).

I am extremely thankful my wife found her Quiet Time grove - she is God's gift to me, someone whom I treasure and love dearly.
We have started to get to know a few families, and I can already see good fellowship/friends ahead.
I've also started attending Men's Fellowship (see previous article), and look forward to it, to closer fellowship with fellow men in the faith.

And yet, all that could change within days or weeks - we live in an uncertain world.
In addition to the chaotic past few months (work wise) - I can honestly say I am really really contented right now.

Our version of peace is often defined by the lack of chaos.
It is peaceful, when the kids are asleep.
It is peaceful, when I'm chilling by the beachside, reading a book and lazying away.

Is it true peace, when it can be so fragile, easily shattered by our circumstance and what happens around us?
Can we actually have peace, in spite chaos around us?

One song which completely blows me away is "It is well with my soul" - lyrics below.
The background to the song is tremendous. Spafford lost his 4 children in a ship accident, wife survived. Eventually, he wrote this hymn in commemoration of the death of his children.
How is it ever possible to have peace, after losing 4 children?
How is it ever possible to write that it is well with my soul after such a tragedy?

And yet, when we realize that God is in complete control of our lives, the good and bad, and that no matter what happens, how bad it is, Christ has already died for us, and redeemed us from the grasp of the evil one into the bosom of our heavenly Father.

http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/i/t/i/itiswell.htm

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

Refrain

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Refrain

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

Refrain

But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh trump of the angel! Oh voice of the Lord!
Blessèd hope, blessèd rest of my soul!

Refrain

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Refrain

Men's Fellowship

2008-12-03T16:26:00.002+07:00

I stepped into a "church" building some 33 years ago.

I became a Christian some 16 years ago (yes, took me some time to get my act together) - and in all these years, I've had cell/bible-study/home groups grouped together based on faculty (Commerce Christians in Uni), type of student (Fellowship of Overseas Christians University Students), families (at Adam Road Presbyterian Centre), work (at my previous work place).

Strangely, I've never had a group based on... gender.
Sure, Ladies Fellowship was quite common (not that I was ever part of one), but Men's Fellowship? Anyway, I attended my first today!

The plan was to meet at 7am, once a week (and strangely, I found myself waking up almost every hour last night, checking the time, so that I would not oversleep).
A bunch of grown men, sitting around a table, with a cuppa - and you know what? I was really really encouraged.

A guy who shared that he was a fairly new Christian, and that he struggled from things going too well (erh.. sorta) - and I was blown away! After struggling with prosperity gospel previously, that was just refreshingly.... mature. It normally takes a good evangelical matured Christian to realize that things going all too smoothly, isn't always a good thing.

The dynamics are different from the family based (scripture based, but grouped by families I mean) bible study. There are struggles that us MEN have to deal with, and it's just encouraging that we can support each other in this way - what a revelation!

And that's why they have Ladies Fellowship all these years- we Men have been missing out!

Hebrews 10:25

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Dinner @ BenThan Market

2008-09-02T09:32:00.000+07:00

We had night out, adventuring out for dinner @ the big market in the middle of the city - Ben Thanh market.

We used the universal guide to choosing food place - crowded with locals eating - which seems to almost never fail (hygiene optional). Well, this place seems akin to Seafood food stall @ old Newton, complete with touts and lots of types of seafood (see pix on right).

But what really caught our attention was this! 3 little frogs, still alive and strung up - for sale.

I must say that they didn't look all that happy, besides the top frog having the smell the b*tts of the bottom 2, their attempts to jump to freedom seemed a little futile.

[Right Pix] Here are my kids (happily smiling) posing with the frogs (not so happy), and other seafood for sale - all kinds of shell fish, snails, prawns... etc.

We don't eat the food raw.... it's grilled out in front [left]

The stuff is really fresh - the fish is wriggling on the grill. And very reasonable, we ordered Red Snapper, which was gutted live, seasoned and then grilled - which costs about S$8.

Definitely repeatable.

There was something interesting, which we only saw later, a deep fried sticky rice ball. A must try, the next time.

Oh, but recommended not to sit next to the "slaughter" table... bit noisy (with squeeling frogs, jumping fish being smashed), bits of stuff flying all over ... messy....

Private Jet Adventure

2008-08-09T21:25:00.000+07:00

I got to fly on a lear jet, although i was most disappointed that there was no champaigne, strawberries or even choice of movies.

how did it happen? it's a story in itself.... so here goes.

it started on tuesday midnight. i had a gastric attack, and after 2 gastric pills, i was sorted out.
on Wed midnight, the gastric attack hit again. but this time, after the gastric pills, panadol, antiacid, the pain didn't go away. the pain was a little different. gastric pains, comes in waves. this time, it was constant acute pain, that didn't go away. i tried to even induce vomit, but didn't feel better.

at 4am, i decided that i couldn't tahan anymore, called the customer service and ordered a taxi.
we (with my wife of coz) headed to the nearest hospital "International SOS", and didn't find anyone there. after 5 mins of calling out, someone finally appeared.
first order of the day, was painkiller to rid the pain. eventually it did go away, although it took a while, when the first "mild" dose didn't work.

The doctor then did ultrasound *what... did I look pregnant?*, but found nothing wrong with the other organs. i also did an ECG *in case there is heart infection*, but came out nothing. another ECG 1 hr later, confirmed nothing wrong with my heart.
Blood test showed a slightly higher count of white blood cells (possibly of infection), but nothing series.

after eliminating most options, it was thus left to it being gastric.
appointment made at the French-Vietnam hospital for endoscope, so made my way there, for an interview with the person who was going to do the GA whilst i do the endoscope *decided not to brave a tube sticking into my throat searching my stomuch, w/o one*.

then i headed back to SOS hospital to rest.
the SOS staff paid a lot of attention to my neighbor, where were going to be evacuated to bangkok for some treatment, but they kinda left me alone. the nurse did pop in every hour, to ask if i was ok, and i said "pain", then she left - doing nothing. great.
i got a bit fed up, and questioned why she wasn't giving me any medication, whether gastric or painkiller, and the nurse says I am already full of gastric meds. i get to take panadol though...
I questioned another staff, who called this canadian doctor, who reprimanded the nurse right in front of me, then reprimanded me (your job is to tell me that u have pain, not that it is gastric)... duh.... what on earth have i been doing whole day?

well, at abt 4pm, the pain started at where the appendix was, and another doctor (thank God, not the scummy one) eventually decided to sent me for CT scan.
they transferred me to a stretcher, i closed my eyes to enjoy the ride. suddenly, the smooth surface i being wheeled on, turned to rough pavement, and feel motorbikes zooming around! i opened my eyes, and i was on the streets of Ho Chi Minh! i soon reached the ambulance, and loaded in, then headed to another hosp.

after the scan, the accompanying nurse showed me the report which said "accute appendicities", and said that likely i needed surgery. i was quite pleased, coz they finally found the cause of the my pain/problems.

well, dr. scum received me back at SOS, and told me i had 3 choices: medivac to Bangkok (????), Singapore, or FV hosp in HCMC (best healthcare around, but not up to standard of bangkok or singapore). after consulting my bosses, and the SOS international folks in singapore, we decided to go FV hosp for consultation, and if confirmed needed surgery (dr. scum said likely don't need one, but only surgeon can decide), will fly offf to singapore.

halfway there, the ambulance turned around, and returned back to SOS.... the accompanying doctor, looked at the CT scan, and informed dr. scum that i need surgery. so arrangements was made to fly back.

at abt 8pm, the hosp started to arrange for my flight (and they started to be then really nice to me... sheeze). well, by 2am, i was transferred to hosp, headed to airport, loaded on the private jet... yes, the lear jet.

oh Lear Jet, yes, pretty small, just enuf space for2 rows of chairs. they stripped one out, to fit in a stretcher (and me on it). lifted off 3am, reached singapore 5.30am (1 hr time diff), reach Mt Elizabeth hospital at 6ish, wheeled into operation room 7am.

just a 20min procedure, and i was wheeled back to my room, all drugged from the GA.
Surgeon did show me a pix of my appendix, and said that it was very close to bursting, and just made it in time, so thank God.

so, here i am, in singapore, stuck for a week or so. waiting to return to my family left behind in Vietnam HCMC. sigh....

Interesting last day in Singapore

2008-07-04T23:38:00.000+07:00

It's been a crazy month.

nearly a week away for church camp in early June.
Then 1 week in Malaysia, and another week in Philippines.

And I had to pack for 3 years in Vietnam (I'm relocating there, for the uninformed) to move on 2 July. I intended to leave earlier on 1 July, run some errands and start packing - so I left office at abt 3.45 pm.
I head into Clementi Ave 6, and swing into AYE (thru this loopy road). As I near AYE, I see a white car in front, and turned my head to the right to look out for traffic. There's a bus, slowing down at the bus stop - so I slowly go forward.

BAM!

uh oh.

Here's another look

MY FIRST ACCIDENT! and it had to be a police car. sigh.
Strangely, the 2 policemen got out, and didn't look too pleased.

oh... this was what my car looked like:

I was a little surprised to see so much damage on them, and relatively minor damage on mine.
Yeah.. number plate got totaled - oh well.

so much for my plan to run errands and pack.

they called their supervisor, i had to wait. supervisor comes with camera man.
followed the police car to Queenstown police station - to take police statement for damaging government property... urgh.

i finally finish at 5.30pm, just enough time to rush to IDAC before they close at 6pm.

Did I mention I was going to fly off at 7am the next day?

Injection Party

2008-06-30T21:45:00.000+07:00

For a different kind of family outing, we decided to get ourselves vaccinated (thanks Liz for the tip), so we trotted to TanTockSeng Hosp - Travellors Clinic.
After a quick consultation - the nurse was really efficient, going through all the kids' vaccination records from diff countries, and ticked off all the jabs we need - a total of 14 injections plus a blood test for the 5 of us... whooppie! Yes, 3 of each of us, with my oldest son getting only 2, and my wife getting the icing on the cake - blood test. "lucky" her....

Now, the kids were surprisingly not all that excited about this, when my wife mentioned it the day before (note: never tell your kids that they are going to get injections before hand). when I got back on Friday night, they spent considerable amount of time trying to get us to change our minds and skip this party! FUTILITY.

Where was I? oh yes, injection party. My oldest decided not to go first, so we got DiYann to go. I tell you, in 5 seconds, it was over.... 1 stab on the right arm, and 2 successive quick ones on the left. My daughter didn't even cry, scream... just looked a bit stunned that it was all over so fast.

My youngest went next... he did say "ouch" during the 2nd jab... but was smiley after that.
[my daughter was bit boastful, saying how she wanted more... bah!]
Well, my oldest went next.... froze, panicked, I grabbed hold, 2 jabs... and well... in case he ever reads my blog... let's just say that his reaction was unique. it's been quite a long time since we brought him for any injections.

[FLASH BACK! I immediately remembered some 8 years back. The first time we brought him to see the local Indon Paed, a Dr. Boy, he was ok. Stunned he was, when he got the first jab, the next visits... he really had the same fear/panic of needles.]

Anyway, we all had a good laugh, after it was over, with a sore left arm, and us covered with plasters.

Oh, we ended the party with a visit to Richard (see previous post), who was also at TTSH. Gracie had "invited" me a few days back to go visit, so I thot that since I was already there, and our kids have all been praying for him - it'll be good for them to see for themselves how God works!

When I got there, I heard Richard asking the doctor - so can I go home now? I nearly laughed. the doctor declined his request gently - wonder why.
But it was really nice to see him - reading newspaper, watching tv. He spoke pretty normally, with a slight swelling on his left head. My kids were surprisingly well behaved (i half feared that they would ask something really stupid/insensitive). We prayed together again, and left him to rest.

How God is so good. What a miracle of miracles... right before our very eyes. He is scaled down version of Lazarus, with all glory to God as God snatched him from the jaws of death. God indeed has a plan for him, a plan that would bring God even more glory.
We take our lives for granted - a good reminder that we are all on leasehold, with the tenancy agreement able to be expire at any notice.

Let us then live our lives, as how we shoud live - with God as God of our lives, and we as his children.

ARE YOU READY TO MEET GOD?
Better get your act together.
Don't wait for the eleventh hour, coz God could have arranged an appointment with you at half past ten.

be careful what you ask God for - you may actually get it!

2008-06-15T00:06:00.001+07:00

The leadership in church wanted us to work on our prayer, so God gave us Richard Chiam during church camp (5-9 June 08) to prayer for... lots and lots of prayer.

Richard, whom we just had over for dinner before church camp, was suffering from a headache for abt 2 weeks. On Friday, he went over to the medical center for a check up, after a 2 hr observation, he was sent back with some medication.
He took a nap after lunch, but when Gracie (wife) went to him at about 4pm, he couldn't be woken! Off to hospital, CT scan and doctors find a blood clot in his brain.

Elder Adrian (alsoa gynae) broke the news to us all before night talk (abt 700 of us). I was stunned, and I found myself fighting back the tears. But we prayed, all 700 of us. We even rostered to pray through the night - I decided to do the unthinkable, and wrote my name down for the 3.30-4.30am slot. Thankfully, my wife agreed, and we actually set alarm, work up and prayed for 1 hour!

We really prayed at every opportunity - each morning, each evening, each bible study, each update on Richard. And I felt that we glimpsed at what heaven will be like!
I thank God for the opportunities to pray, I never prayed so much, and even with mom each time! That was a miracle in itself (an opportunity to prayer lots with my mom).

Well, we certainly met one of the objectives of the church leaders, God sure has his way of answering prayer, about prayer.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Amen.

Of Fishes and Bugs, the Tale ends

2008-06-03T20:22:00.000+07:00

It's a sad day whenever u part with cherished possessions.

It's a sad day, that I entrusted my fish bowl (pix left) to a good friend to take care off. I've had this for quite a few years, from my CM office in Sommerset, to Science Park 1, and finally to Science Park 3.
I've gone through a few batches of fish, some don't do so well (dwarf gouramis, clown loach, shrimps), some do (guppies, otos, kullie loach). I've had the pleasure of witnessing quite a few guppy births - abt 10-20 babies each batch, but only 4-5 survived (ok, most died eventually). I will miss my good trusty companion.

Last thursday (12 June) was another sad day - when I sold my bug (see real tears on the left, and the very last pix of me in my bug driving off into the sunset... erh morning sun, to handover to the new buyer, on the right)
This is a bug I've had for a year. I was apprehensive when I got it, struggling with the gears. But I grew totally in love with it, in all its mechanical glory. Every sound, smell, the wind in my hair (I always drive with the windows wound down), and even the memories of the car dying on me in the middle of CTE tunnel (ran out of petrol... again... sigh).

I advertised on sgcarmart (best website for selling/buying cars), and sold it to John - nice young chap, first time car owner, and bug owner (brave guy), real deja vu.
And the funny thing is, he ran out of petrol a couple of hours after I last saw the bug! hilarious. "Curse of the Bug" my wife says... but good thing that he had the tin can to get petrol. deja vu.
Hey John, take good care of her, and I hope that she's as good to you as she was to me.

Best ride I've ever own. Thanks for the memories.

Pray Answered!

2008-03-19T22:02:00.000+07:00

God answers prayer.

He does! but not always how we'd like it sometimes... but he does.

Well, I've been wrestling in prayer (somewhat) for the last couple of weeks - related to my previous blog topic. I hate it most, when I know the theory bit, but my hard is hardened and wants to resist. At least if I could justify it away, my conscience wouldn't bug me so much.

In preparing for bible study this Sunday, I came across Romans 5:3-5.
And we did this at Discipleship Group study couple of months back, and I remember then that this is my achilles heel, that I cannot rejoice at suffering.
But when things go ok, it is easy to forget Romans 5:3-5, or even James 1 (on God's definition of Pure Joy).

Well, reading it again, was a breath of fresh air.
That's my problem (unable to take any form of persecution/suffering), and God is answering my prayer right now!
See, I can't really swim freestyle all that far - and if I really wanted to (I don't) to improve on my freestyle, the only way is really to swim it as much and as far as I can. It ain't gonna be pretty or easy, but it'll get me there.
And if I don't have patience, I don't pray "I want patience NOW!". No, God puts us through trials and tribulations, to gives us opportunities to practice and develop patience.

God is right now, teaching me to see "suffering" in His light, not mine. One of the purposes of suffering (besides being a nasty side effect of the fall), is per Romans 5, to teach us perseverance (which unfortunately can be developed only by under going trials), and that develops character (which unfortunately can be developed again through trials & perseverance).

Is loving my enemies the right thing to do? YES
Is living life God's way the best way to live? YES
Is it conceivable for me to say I love God, and still hate my enemies? NO

And if I want to learn to love my enemies, God will answer my prayer, and give me enemies to practice loving ~ seems so simple, but duh...

So thank you God.
Thank you for considering me worthy enough, for my faith to be refined.
Thank you for giving me hope that will never disappoint!
Thank you for the grace of God which strengthens us, guides and never leaves us.
Thank you for answering my prayer.

Romans 5:3-5
...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Love your enemies

2008-03-17T21:33:00.000+07:00

Oh, how I hate that command...

Why, why, why... God, did you have make us do the impossible?!!
Why love those who despise me?
Why pray for those who unfairly critisize me?
Why forgive those who make my life miserable?

Turn the other cheek? walk an extra mile when unfairly told to walk one mile?
Give the tunic for those who unfairly demand your coat?
Why God, oh why, is it so unfair?!!

And yet you did.
You loved those who rejected you.
You forgave those who crucified you.
You came to die for those who told you to get lost from their lives?
You died for the sin that is mine.... is that fair?

To be fair, we would be still enemies of God, as we shake our fists in his face
To be fair, we would bear the judgement of sin, that is rightfully mine.
To be fair, God would have excercised some Quality Control, and gotten rid of us, as we failed to live up to his standards.

God demonstrated his own love for us, whilst we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
God walked the talk
And God will continue to help us to love our neighbours, esp our enemies as we are freed from the slavery of sin, and now free to serve God.

Please God, teach me to love my enemies, those who hate me, and those I hate.
It's so hard, every fibre in me tells me to hate my enemies.
Oh teach me God... that I may obey...

Matthew 5:43-48
"You have heard that it was said, `Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Life

2008-02-18T00:26:00.001+07:00

Such is life.

We prayed for Angela Lee, colleagues' bible study leader, whilst she waits in hospital, battling the cancer that is ravaging her body. Angela, all of 37 years, went to glory with her Lord Jesus that night.

Then I heard that my cousin's wife has 3rd stage cancer - I was stunned beyond belief.
Well, my wife and I have grown quite close to my cousin and his wife in the recent year, they've had a tough past year or two, and now their greatest challenge.

Cancer isn't something that happens to young folks in my age! Death is something faced by the generation above me, my aunties/uncles and up.

Yet in all this, God is still sovereign, and in my naive take, I do think that God is drawing them both to Him. Yes, unfortunately, sometimes God uses life's trials and tribulations to bring us to our knees, forcing us to admit that we are not gods, not in control of the world, not even in control of our own bodies and circumstances - pretending that God doesn't exist or just plain ignoring him is completely futile.

But I plead for God's grace,
- that in his mercy that it is in His will to heal my cousin's wife.
- And more importantly, He will lift the veil of darkness that is separating them from Him, and they will come to acknowledgement Jesus is our Lord and Savior.

My prayer is that they will know the true LIE that is found in Jesus - now that's Life!

Philippians 4:4-7
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Japan!

2008-01-24T22:35:00.000+07:00

This is a week of many firsts.

I got to spend a week here in Tokyo, my very first trip to the land of the rising sun.
Well, after 15+ years of recession, the sun is starting to shine again, until the stock market /subprime collapse that is....

The shopping malls are quite something. Went to a newish one called "Midtown" - it is nothing like any of the malls in Singapore. They use this really nice timber decking inside, corridors are really wide, furniture carved from a big block of wood - very nicely done and stylish; even the the smoking room had a row of plasma screen showing stuff. very upmarket, very plush.

Well, I generally love whales, and on Monday night, my first Japanese meal in a Japanese restaurant, I missed the opportunity to try some. It was only after reading the greenpeace clash and Jap whaling ship on Tuesday, did I ask my colleague where I could try some "scientifically researched" whale meat - and she said that it was on the menu Monday nite (the menu was completely Japanese), but she didn't think of ordering (what?!!!! drats... sigh).

On Tuedays afternoon, we had a simple meal at joint, tempura with rice. Amazing, it costs like S$20 - I was quite blown away.

On Tuesday nite, good friend of mine Laurence too me to this this lovely "pub", which looks like an old chinese inn - half expected lady from Kill Bill to burst through and start slashing everyone! (apparently, Quentin T got inspiration for Kill Bill Jap scene from this restaurant).

Food was lovely, he calls it Izakaya (or something), but is like the decent yakitori grills back home. My favorite was grilled black cod - the Japanese really know their fish, and how to cook em. (see pic of chef with their wonderful well exhausted grills)
I saw this "Squid with fermented fish guts" and of course I had to order it! Unfortunately, it turned out fairly tame - mostly raw squid, with bits of stuff in it.

On Wednesday morning, when I woke up, I saw snow flakes floating outside the window, in all directions - my first snowfall! witnessed 37 stories up in my hotel - really beautiful (see pic left... but not so clear)

I was quite miffed coz when I was in Korea last week, it snowed the week before, and the week after (this week). so I missed it even though it was like -10 degrees.
It was supposed to snow in Tokyo Monday/Tuesday, and it didn't... but quite thrilled it did on Wednesday. Moreover, it was Tokyo's first snow in many winters! amazing. well, it wasn't really heavy snow, not quite cold enough (it was abt 1-2 degrees), so it was half snow/drizzle when it fell. if u squin your eyes enough, u can see the bits of snowfall in the 2nd pics above.

Ok, more food thots (do I ever think of anything else?)
Then on Wednesday afternoon, had a nice lunch with bankers, top floor of the building, with this guy cooking right in front of you with the freshest foods (had fillet mignon). the entire meal was like $40, with starters, cooking on the spot, pretty much the works.
A lot of the nicer meals are like $50, which is really reasonable considering that the cheap meals are already nearly $20.
The cheap food is expensive, and the expensive food is cheap - if that makes sense.

Oh toilets! The toilets in Japan is super shiok. In winter, the seat is heated, even the "public" toilets.

Next to the toilet bowl is this row of gadgets, with 2 bidet sprays (one for the bum, the other for the... erh.... nevermind); plus if u see the pics on the left, there's one with the musical notes? music for the ears? yes, but not yours - for others.

Erm, if u press it, u get not music, but a toilet flushing sound - so that any undesirable noises can be masked. funny... certainly a first for me - not the noise lah... the flushing sound.

All in all, it was certainly quite an interesting visit.

It would be a lovely place to come with my wife (only... haha no kids).
And I sure missed her - now, that's not the first.

work

2007-10-05T23:52:00.000+07:00

My boss leaving, gave me lots to think about.
She was the big reason for me to join current company, but with her leaving, suddenly... I felt loss.

I've been thinking over the last 6-7 weeks, been thinking of a new job, been thinking of what I want to do. Quite unfortunately, the thinking came to why I came here in the first place, and why we work.

Do we work for men (or woman?)
What exactly do I want, from a job - title? salary? good environment? a Christian boss with chemistry?
Well, I tell myself that good working environement, plus something with not consistently long hours is probably the most important. Christian bosses - nice to have, not a necessity.
It seems that I do have a good working environment & stable hours currently.
And what exactly have I done here in the past 10 months?

Nothing, zip.
make friends, have a good time & work - but nothing of any meaningful eternal consequence.
So what did I leave my previous company & a good ministry for? Happiness?

Sigh... so I got off my A*S, and decided that it was time to do something.
There are other Christians around, instead of waiting for a non-Christian to read the bible with (which was my modus operandi previously), I could do something with the Christians, to encourage one another.

So getting a few people, to pray each week - we don't do that enough, do we, for each other.
So Monday morning 8Oct07, we will start - now, that's a good reason to work.

HEBREWS 10:23-25 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Happy 70th Birthday Mom

2007-08-30T09:42:00.000+07:00

It just hit me, as we were planning my mom's birthday... that she is 70!

Strange... suddenly it hit me that my mom was "old".
Up to the 60s (my mom's age that is), she's always been mom... nagging, bothered abt status and bothering me abt my lack there of, throwing money at my kids... mom.

But 70 is suddenly different.
My aunt just passed away a coupla months ago, and she was 73.
Now that my mom is about to be 70... she's catapulted into a different category - the "old, may not be with you too long, let her indulge in her geriatric dilusions old".

She tries to be nice, although she does it in way that "irritates" me... like throwing money at my kids (how am i going to teach them the value of $, if they get it so easily), like asking me quite a few times- so u dun even get to fly business class ah... (when my bro flies 1st class now), like berating me in front of the relatives.

Somehow, it is always easier to put up with it, when they are old folks not your mom - u give allowance, and nod patiently.

I need to learn to be patient.
Instead of ignoring her questions (I rather just keep quiet, then answer an irritating question), I will try very hard to accomodate her.
I will learn to be grateful and thankful for her generosity (it's her way of showing her love).
I will pray for her, and offer to pray with her.

That's gonna be my birthday present... Happy Birthday Mom.

Stock Market

2007-08-14T17:55:00.000+07:00

I have learnt that

1. Invest only with with money which you are prepared to loose
thinking about what u will make, only clouds the issue, and may lead to severe losses

2. Holding power, is the only weapon we have, in a market controlled by Big Players
as my market timing is bad - at least with holding power, u sell when it has reached your selling price, and not because you are forced to
the loss is only realized, when u sell

3. Making money
strangely enough, it is much easier to loose money, than make

4. Speculating vs Investing
there is a bit difference between speculating and investing, one based on rumors/gut feeling, the other based on fundamentals
it is easy to start off "investing", but too hard not to cross over to "speculating"

5. Which share to buy
whilst easier said then done, invest only in companies you understand, and industries you know

6. The analysts don't know it all
Whilst research reports are helpful, they are only opinions. I love how Citibank put a sell call on Cosco, with target price of $2+, only to reverse to a buy call with target price of $5+ only 1 month later

7. The market is not really rationale
I don't know why SingTel shares went up from $2 to $3.70 within a few months, even though I was an insider...

1 Timothy 6:10
For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

The Guard

2007-07-31T09:21:00.000+07:00

Received a call oh my HP on 27 July 4.30 pm

Caller: Hello this is the guard.

ss: Guard? who?

Caller: The guard at the main gate.

ss: What main gate?

Caller: The GUARD at the MAIN GATE!

ss: Erh, which main gate? at [my office name]?

Caller: No, I am the GUARD at the MAIN GATE!!!!

ss [grit teeth]: But there's quite a few main gates in Singapore. Which main gate?

Caller [speaking to another party]: you better talk with him

Caller 2: Hello, this is tow truck here at Ardmore Park.

ss [light goes on, suddenly it makes sense now]: Hello fren, I am at (office address), you already pick up my car at 2pm, I think kah (call) salah (wrongly) leh.

Caller 2: Oh sorry....

END OF CALL

Bug Tales 2

2007-07-28T20:59:00.000+07:00

Last Sunday (22 July)
I found out, that when the fuel gauge needle points to the left most bar, the fuel tank is really empty - unlike other cars when there's still some reserve.

Couldn't believe, my beloved bug just glided to a stop, just in front of a car illegally parked, on a main road. I stuck a note on my screen, and hiked to the nearest petrol station.
Doh! they ran out of tin cans to carry petrol.
Took a bus to the next nearest one, got my can with 5L of petrol, borrowed a funnel, and hiked back. Gosh, I never would have imagined myself running out of petrol in the middle of busy Singapore. And never would have imagined having to manually fill my tank.

Ok, petrol filled - but car won't start!
On advice of my mechanic Thomas, had to crank it numerous times.
After 10 min, it finally roared to life.

whew.

Following Friday (27 July)
Just back from lunch with ex-colleague in town.
As I was just nearing my car park, the car engine suddenly dies! Petrol again? no... there's still plenty. Fortunately, am on downhill slope, and I glide it into a car park space next block to my office.

Good grief. Got it towed back to Thomas.
Ever since my no petrol advanture, I noticed one of the lights with "G" on when I drove - but ignored it. Well, it appears that it is a warning light, that something is wrong is my "generator".
Found out generator/dynamo is kapoots, and as result battery kapoots too!
So "upgraded" the generator to an "Alternator", or whatever.

I got it back today quite happy.
Although still sore from the hole in my pocket.

Bug Tales

2007-07-15T19:08:00.000+07:00

From eating bugs, I got myself a bug.

It's a 1973 VW beetle, 1200 cc, in all its green glory.

There's something about owning one, something I've never felt with all my previous cars, starting with a 18 yr old Mitsubishi (can't remember what, but it was bit of a bomb), a brand new maroon Suzuki Swift which my dad bought for me after graduation, Toyota Kijang in Indonesia, Hyundai Matrix when we came back to Singapore in 2003, Toyota Wish (which is the best family car in the world, and used by my wife), and now my very own bug.

It's quite an experience driving it. Like a newfound love, there's a bit of tenderness required in driving it. One must really be one with the car, have a good feel in all its mechanical glory.
There's nothing "auto" about it: stick shift manual gears; no power steering, no reverse sensors, no power windows; no car alarms; even the headlight switch is activated with a mechanical knob - but it is pure driving joy in its most basic raw form.

I actually got some metal sand paper, and scrubbed off the rust on the hub caps & WD40 everything. In my 15 years of driving, I have never ever even washed my car, let alone do any maintenance. The closest I get, is drive to the mechanic.

Now, it is probably one of the cheapest cars to get... but what a car it is.
Thanks Cami (who sold me the car) for this.

Pic of my car below

Conversation with an Aunt

2007-07-10T22:21:00.000+07:00

Aunt: U can't believe whatever A says

Me: [uh oh, decide to ignore comment]

Aunt: She's a liar

Me: Urm... I don't think so [feeling a bit offended]

Aunt: Why? You have to .....[Starts to lecture]

Me: erh, I don't want to talk about A [it gets me nowhere, and me upset!]

Aunt: But you have to listen to both sides of the story.... She is...

Me: I don't want to talk about her! [thinking that saying nothing is better than saying something and offending even more]

Aunt: Why.

Me: Because everytime any of u sisters talk about her, we always end up arguing...

Aunt: [changes topic slowly... but quite offended, as I learn]

sigh... didn't handle that too well. Somemore it was on the way to church Evangelistic service. Wife tells me that Aunt was offended at how I "exploded" [but I thot I remained calm throughout, and pretty happy at how I avoided a "hot" topic]. and that she could easily do that to me if I wanted to talk to her about Jesus "Just don't talk to me about God and Jesus!".

sigh... as usual, my wife was right in her rebuke, just takes me a while to swallow my pride, think abt it and admit it.

Colossians 4:2-6
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

ARPC Church Camp 2007

2007-06-28T20:34:00.000+07:00

I love church camps.

I grew up in Zion BP, attending tons of em... although they were more social then. As an adult, it's different.

With a church so large (1,000 plus folks), its normally hard to get to know people.
We normally sit the same place during the service, talk to the usual folks we hang out with. So in church camp, with us assigned to groups, through the activities & bible studies, we get to know just that few more folks. Plus meal times are another way to meet new folks.

And you know, we just aren't as rush. With lots of free time, we can just chill, relax and chat away. Nice.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this year's church camp. The speaker (David Cook), spoke short sermons, but sure hit on the spot. Very application-able. One particular take-away, is my renewed understanding of the Parable of Wise/Foolish builder.

MT 7:24 "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

Now, I've always taken the foolish guy, who builds his life on like material stuff, whereas the wise builder is the one who builds his life on Christian stuff.

Well, not quite. Look at verse 24 and 26 again - Both the wise and foolish builders, BOTH HEARS the words of Jesus. The key difference is that one "puts them into practice" whereas the foolish chap, hears but just boh chap/does nothing. It is whether we heed & put into practice Christ's words. Hearing must be followed by obedience.

So far so good? OK, here's another lesson from the church camp - Jesus says, we cannot serve both God and money - this we know. But how often has that become: "ideally, we cannot serve both God and money"; or "we can balance both, although God still ranks ahead of money" - we tell ourselves.

The problem is that Jesus says it is IMPOSSIBLE to serve both God & money. We hear it, but do we believe it? Does God really know what is best for us?
Love our enemies -get real.
Cannot serve both God and money- ridiculous!
Really, I know what I can do and cannot - better than God.
I really want to run my Christian life, my own way.

Uh oh - smells a tad bit like sin no? smells like the foolish builder - we know what Jesus says, but rather than simple obedience, we don't put it into practice, instead we justify it away.

So it isn't easy.
Eat from any tree, except the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil - ok.
Enter the promise land, and the land is yours (just ignore the well built army, who's bigger, better trained, and better equiped than a bunch of wondering slaves) - ok.
Love your enemy - ok.
Go and teach your wealth a lesson, and give half of your savings to God's work - ok.

It's really the best way to live - do we dare to believe and do it?
Just do it - God's way.

Yummy... Korean Food

2007-04-03T20:42:00.000+07:00

I'm was in Korea just. And the fun thing about being in a different country, is to learn new culture/peoples, and stuff unique to them, and yes the food.

Here's something I tried last saturday... guess what it is?

yes, looks yummy, chocolates you say?

ok, here's a yummier picture - close up (left), and no, they are not Chocoloates, as you can see.

It's actually a silkworm larvae (not butterfly cocoon, as I was told before) - I knew there had to be a better use than just producing silk - and the Koreans love them!

It's called bbeondaeggi, sold by the street boiled (see picture on right), and served in a cup - just like sweet corn!

Unfotunately, there is nothing sweet about this snack - full of protein they may be (my kind colleagues assured me, whilst munching on a toothpick full of them), but besides how they look (they look like legless fat cockroaches) they taste as bad as they look - yes, surprisingly, they were unpleasant to eat. Vile actually.

Been there, done that - can't say I'm happy to try that again.

I got my colleagues to bring me to try another Korean speciality - san nak ji. Here's a look (see right). Now, it is served in a restaurant, so nothing like street bugs.

Looks familiar?

ok, let me tell you what it is - it is live baby octopus. Yes, they fish out a live one, chop it up, add some sesami oil, and serve it fresh - no, not fresh, still wriggling/writhing. I kid you not - the octopus on the plate, every bit of it was wriggling! Strangely, I felt cruel, and sad for the octopus who had to die a pretty horrific slow death - then it was time not to waste the guy's death, and eat. I used my chopstick, hold on to the plate to pull him off (the suction cups still work), and as you hold it, the guys is wriggling, and curling around the chopstick. And when you put it in your mouth, I got a big shock! yes, because the suction cups still work, they stick to your inside cheeks and tongue - it just caught me by surprise. But it ends quite quickly when you chew.

Taste? taste like octopus sashimi - but really chewy. Did I say that it was fresh?

[update 20Apr]

Friend told me that there is another version, where you get to eat a whole octopus live! they put a really small one in a shot glass, put some alcohol (i think) in it, and u just bottoms up - yummy.

u are supposed not to chew so fast, play with your food inside your mouth(yes, your mummy told you not to, but hey) , then chew it. Advice has it to chew it well, before attempting to swallow.

now, i think that this will be mentally rather challenging... yes, I don't take alcohol.

Parenting 103

2007-03-19T20:43:00.000+07:00

It's been a good week.

It didn't start off so well, when I loss the coin toss to attend Parent-Teacher meet.
I'll spare the details... least to say that I better practice on my coin tossing...
Sure, we want some feedback on how the child is doing in school, but i'm not sure whether I really want to know every infringement that happens...

Oh, oh yes, as I was saying, it's been a good week.
Being the school holidays last week, plus my own resolution (and lots of prayer) to be more loving, I tried being less "uptight" - don't sweat the small stuff. And it worked somewhat - I actually enjoyed the relationship better, when I wasn't snapping at every little thing, and nagging.

Ok, also ignoring the 2 incidents events of outright lying to get out of homework, but relatively (compared to the past) it's been a good week.

I felt bad coz I couldn't take leave coz of work, so my lovely wife arranged a family holiday on Saturday. And we had a great time - minibus took us (w 2 other families) to Johor, where we visited a kelong (my son got to fish in a floating net breaming with hungry "milk" fish or Ikan Bandeng - almost shooting fish in a barrel, only easier.
We had to pay RM1 for each fish we caught, and another RM2 if we wanted to take it home. Was a bit strange until I realized that once a fish is caught, it is left jumping in a dry barrel till it dies - quite a loud (fish really strong and keeps jumping) messy (bit bloody) affair. And if u dun want it, they'll freeze it to be sold to the market. They tell me that once the fish is hooked, it dies eventually - so they don't throw it back.
After that, we got to eat lunch, and at the risk of being the obscene Singaporean - the food was really cheap! We had soup, veges, toufu, steamfish (w this lovely assam samble sauce), deep fried calamari (really really good), fried chicken w thai sauce, curry prawns (really nice too, lots of spices, curry leaves and dried prawns), desert - more food than we could finish, and all for RM15 each. Amazing stuff - definitely returnable.
We spent some time in shopping mall, before heading to Royal London Circus show. Now, being spoilt Singaporeans, we got front row seats - and it was really good fun. First time to a live circus, and being right in front, was really quite good fun. If only the trapeze artist didn't fall on top of me, it'll would have been more enjoyable...
Well, all in all, it was an overseas holiday, for abt $300 for the whole fam!

Oh yes, back to being less uptight, I was proud to say that after church, whilst talking with some friends, I saw my oldest disturbing my youngest till he cried, then when bored, started poking and disturbing my daughter (I watched from the corner of my eye, but didn't say anything and surprising didn't get angry). Ok, I was not impressed when he complained to me that one of his siblings hit him (in retaliation no doubt) - and I recounted his misadventures, that IF YOU CAN'T TAKE IT, DON'T DISH IT OUT!!!

Well, it's a start. I need to work hard at being loving, and to show it, be less uptight/nitpicking - but what a big hill to climb, and a long way to go. But's its a start.
Training in righteousness (both for my son and myself), is a long term thing - there's no instant obedience unfortunately. Took Israelites 40 years to get to promise land, took me 20+ years to finally repent before God... and just as God didn't give up on me, I gotta work hard and persevere.

It's a good week - gotta give thanks to God, when I can.

Remove that bible?!!!

2007-02-27T21:34:00.000+07:00

I just noticed that the "sponsored link" sitting right on top of mail in my gmail account, was this website www.removethatbible.com

This made me think: from the numerous hotels I've stayed at, I've never really paid attention to the Gideon bible - one of those things you take for granted.

I've never really gospelized by osmosis - the mere presence of a bible hidden in a drawer didn't do much for me, especially when it was sitting next to the Koran (hotels in Indonesia).

No, I am not mocking the mission of the Gideons (ironically, the little I know is from the above website). The words within, whilst doesn't quite convert the book into a "Holy Book" like some sort of talisman, is the very words as inspired by God himself.

It is the very power of God - the same power that through mere words, created the very universe we exist in, the same power that rose Jesus from the dead, it is the same power of God that will bring salvation to those who believe - not by man's words or wisdom.
And for those whom God moved heaven and earth for, so that they would "chance" upon the Gideon bible so inconspicuously placed in the bed side drawer - Hallelujah!

Yes, pure foolishness of the Gideons to hope for such miracles, but since when has the wisdom of man outsmarted the foolishness of God?

Go Go Gideons!

ok, excuse the digression, back to the petition.

Now, I'm not really surprised about such a petition. As Paul writes (2 Corinthians 2:14-16)

But thanks be to God, who... through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of [Jesus] For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life.

Yes, the good news of Christ, is a double-edged sword, and those who don't know God, they can't stand it - a foul stench, the "smell of death". And people have hated that smell from the beginning, culminating with them killing Jesus to rid of his smell. And people will keep hating this "smell of death", sadly blind to the aroma of life, even in this day and age.

They much prefer Famous Amos' "Free Smells"... the cookie that saves... NOT!

No, I say let's an eye for an eye. I am proposing my own online petition - so sign up here!

http://www.removethatpetitiontoremovethatbible.com/

He's Everything To Me

2007-02-19T13:31:00.000+07:00

Elliot led a song a coupla weeks ago during offering.
It's was extremely nostalgic for me, a song I knew from growing up, singing in our youth group - but not since I left my old church some 20 years ago (eekks! I'm that old?!!!)

Not speaking theologically, but the song sung and its arrangement was just brilliant - a jazzed up version, really classy. Great job guys!

And thanks for the memories.

He's Everything To Me

In the stars His handiwork I see,
On the wind He speaks with majesty,
Though He ruleth over land and sea,
What is that to me?

I will celebrate Nativity,
For it has a place in history,
Sure, He came to set His people free,
What is that to me?

Till by faith I met Him face to face,
and I felt the wonder of His grace,
Then I knew that He was more than just a God who didn't care,
That lived a way out there and

Now He walks beside me day by day,
Ever watching o'er me lest I stray,
Helping me to find that narrow way,
He's Everything to me.

Ralph Carmichael

My Funeral Service

2007-02-16T17:17:00.000+07:00

It's never too late to think about dying.

My daughter prayed the other morning, for the kids to behave well, so that if daddy dies, they can take care of mommy - or something like that. Hmm... not quite sure whether it is a good prayer or not...

ok, about death, more specifically, what happens at my funeral service.
I saw "the weatherman" or something like that, with Nicholas Cage in it.
Not such a great show, but Nicholas' character had a living funeral service for his dad who was about to die. Not such a bad idea really.
But in the event that my wife/kids don't get the chance to, a after-I-die service will do - not much of a choice anyway.

Songs
These are the songs I wish sung
1. Amazing Grace - good story abt my life. God did pluck me out of sin, and only thru his grace I have been redeemed. Great funeral hymn, ends in great triumph - lots of people will cry.
2. God Sent His Son - another great old song I grew up with, a reminder of God's big plan, how can we not live for God, after what God has done for us?
3. In Christ Alone - one of my fav "modern" songs, esp the version by the iWorship series. what a great reminder of the basis of our salvation.
4. There Is A Higher Throne - [updaed 19Feb07] -thanks Anon for reminding me of the title. What a beautiful picture painted, but u know what? it ain't nothing compared with the real stuff!
5. It Is Well, With My Soul - [updated 7Mar07] - I hope that my family can sing this. This is of course no theoretical feel good hymn, but this is written by Horatio G. Spafford as the ship he was on, passed the place where his 4 daughters perished a few weeks earlier. Only the wisdom of God can help a man say it is well - what a powerful testimony.

[will add songs progressively]

Sermon
Hopefully lots of non-Christians family and friends will be there.
And hopefully ChrisChia will be around and available to speak (we were the first he married... if i don't remember wrongly).
Not sure how many services there are, but the sermon has got to be evangelistic please.
Maybe a passage on Revelation 20/21- coz that'll be reality for me then!
yes, make people envious - see lah, who ask u not to know Jesus and then die earlier than me?

Attire
oh please - none of that black and white only clothing.
how abt orange, yellow or lime green only - plus everyone has to wear crocs!
ok, something cheery - its a time of celebration, I have fought the good fight, I have won the race and receive my crown of righteousness - yes celebration time.

Coffin
Cremation is the order of the day. how abt something dramatic afterwards like sprinkling of ashes into the sea/ocean? none of that ashes in vase, stuck in some concrete hole stuff.
hopefully i'm not remembered by just my ashes.

oh yes, coffin. I'd prefer something cheap, but unique - not those boring lacquered wooden coffins. how abt something like this? but painted orange?

I'm not so sure I want my dead body to be seen - u can leave it sealed.
somehow, dead bodies look nothing like what they are when alive.

Organ Donation [updated 7March07]
Now, I don't really mind donating what left of me that can be recylced. But one small request, which came to mind after reading this - WAIT TILL I AM REALLY DEAD!!!! I would really like the benefit of that one more day, really.

But if I'm brain dead, and after my 1 day's grace and things don't improve, then to my family: pls don't waste money keeping the life machine on.

Anyway, I don't think I would really like being recalled back, after getting to be with Jesus.

Parenting 102

2007-02-06T16:31:00.000+07:00

AAARRGGGHHH!

Another complain from teacher, this time Malay teacher abt forgetting to bring textbooks, and not doing work.
Decided to check bag, after being assured that it is packed properly, and all work done.... found abt 4 worksheets accumulatedly undone! plus lots of rubbish and unnecessary books brought, whilst the right ones are left behind.

My theory was to train the child up to be responsible, meaning give instruction, expect child to obey, and handle consequence - consistently. Theoretically, child will learn... right? wrong.
It's just a viscious cycle... of carelessness, absent-mindedness, and plain laziness. After each rebuke, feel sorry, but back to square one.

So last night, I sat down w my oldest boy, checked each sheet that it was properly done, got him to empty out whole bag, and show me each item being put in. The rest, either throw or file - properly.
Somehow, I felt sorry for him (yes, had to punish him for lying to me during weekend, to wife) and compassionate as I sat next to him. Am trying to be more patient and loving - but not so easy.

Gotta remind myself that training in righteousness is long haul. It took me abt 21 years, before I came to know the Lord... and my son is only 9... but I don't remember me being so difficult!
Then again, that's according to me... don't ask my folks.

and it could be worse... at least I don't have to homeschool him...

DG 101

2007-02-05T17:11:00.000+07:00

New material
After a year of having to write our own studies, the church (Adam Road Presbyterian Centre) has decided to give us a break, and try out study guides again. Ironically, whilst initially thot it a "drag" coz of time commitment, I enjoyed writing my own studies, like my Uni days.
Now I have to fight the temptation of a lazy prep, the questions are all there, and even the answers!

But I do like these Pathway Bible guides we're using for Discipleship Group, this time covering Luke 9-12 over 7 studies.

PrimaFacie, it is theologically simple. Questions/material provided not as cheem/detailed as the normal Mathias Media studies we've been using. It even comes with leader's notes (maybe i should remove that section from everyone else, so that i can really appear smart - ha!)

Well, where it does well, is in the application part - where it gives us the opportunity to hit it home, and let the rubber hit the road - and that's the hard part. I've had a good opportunity to meditate on it myself, as well as drill this in the DG.
The starter questions are also pretty good - considering most others are pretty cliche, and i've always had trouble thinking up of good ones when writing my own.

New members
We've had a few nearly new members last year, but some reasons or other didn't work out. So we stayed pretty much the same numbers - which is good, coz we got to know each other, and were able to share more.

This year Athena, hubby SoonMeng and mom Ann, decided to join us, after their JFN group moved to Tuesday - and they prefer a Sunday. Whilst it does change the dynamics a little, it's good for the group I think, that it forces us out of our comfort zone - especially me, coz I'm "forced" to observe, listen, and see how we can integrate.
Well, it's a great encourage to me, for Ann, who is more "matured" than the rest of us - that she recently came to know Jesus, and now hungry to learn lots. It's great that our new friends are open, asking questions, and willing to share.

[19Feb update: Getting another couple from same DG as Athena & gang. Thanks Marie!]

Old workplace bible study group
Been trying to encourage my old workplace DG to meet up (stopped since I left abt 3 months ago... and I feel partly responsible...).
I must learn to trust in the Lord, that He will look after His flock, and that it isn't up to me 100% (thank God!) - Faithful we must be, but Trusting even more.

[19Feb update: sigh... this has died an unnatural death. Somehow, trying to meet up isn't working, and I have given up "nagging" - but not giving up on praying for em!]

oh yes, must remember to work on consistency of prayer life.
Just covered study in Luke on Parable of Annoying friend (my words), just after Lord's prayer. Need to be persistent.

Parenting 101

2007-01-28T17:16:00.000+07:00

Parenting is hard work.
Teaching a child and molding his character to fear and know the Lord, is no easy stuff (ok... so it's hard for the rest of us too) - when do we punish, when do we reward, and the how is the tough part.

We struggled thru an episode this week - 3rd complain from the teacher since this year! And each time, the "crime" seem to get worse... that I was at a total lost... nothing seems to work... we've tried the scolding, canning, depriving of privileges, rewarding (bribing?), reading the bible and praying together... textbook stuff, almost every trick in the bag (ok, very small bag), and yet, it all seems to fall apart. feel like giving up. Strangely I didn't even feel like punishing the child or talking to him. Hmm, it was certainly tempting to just give up, be indifferent - why bother when nothing works anyway.

No, some serious reflection was required, bit of honesty with myself and God. Something was seriously wrong, and I needed to do something abt it (see, us guys just have to find a fix). No no, if I was any interested in being a godly parent, a good father and concerned abt raising the child up to know and fear the Lord (be wise), I suspect ignoring a child isn't the best of reactions.

Went yesterday for swimming brief by the club. Coach told me abt my son, that he responds better to positive encourage, and uses it to better use, than critisizing/discouraging... sigh... Yes, I am overly harsh. After each stunt, we react and get bit more strict, and the next stunt seems to get a little more rebellious, intentionally or unintentionally. I am quick to punish, slow to love. It's just so hard to love sometimes... is it possible that I'm a recalcitrant and hard to love too by God? Hmm, took Him more than 20 years, and He didn't give up... Love is not a feeling, but a choice. It'll be nice if there was some feelings of love as well...

Drats! we just did the parable of sower last week at bible study, and today's sermon in church... Why did the passage have to hit so close - can I love someone I don't like? So much easier to love the millions in deep darkest Africa, but what about your own child?

Ok, had a good chat with the wifey - she's always good counsel - we need to change our approach - our son is NOT like us (why can't he be more like me?!!!). we need to learn who he is, accept it, and work with it.
We took sometime in the afternoon, for a good heart-to-heart talk. We talked abt what happened, the reasons for doing, and explained why it was not right; what he need to do to correct his actions, and more importantly (hopefully) addressed his deep seated fears/concerns.
Well, let's hope this works... I can only trust in the Lord for wisdom and strength.

Yes, our child is also our neighbour.

My First!

2007-01-25T23:56:00.000+07:00

Excited - first time trying out this blog thing - I must say that creating this blog was a breeze - toughest part was selecting the color scheme from the templates available. Gotta give these google guys credit - for coming up with something so simple and FREE!

Well, guess this is a bit like an online journal.
Ironic coz I'm not a keep journals kinda person, but now older, gotta get on with the times or be lost in oblivion :)

ok, wife is awake and wondering why i'm still up at 1.13am. Gotta wake up at 6, so nitey.